[Scene: Chandler and Monica's Future House. They enter the living room with the Realtor and Joey.]
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means. I've already forgotten what you said, but
the Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through.
Monica: Okay, thanks. [to Joey] Ah, so glad you decided to come.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
fungus (<同>917.Monica: Alright, here's a few things you could discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
Monica: No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
inspection [ɪn'spɛkʃən]: the act of looking closely at something or someone, especially to check that everything is as
it should be 检查，检验
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
scratchy (<同>1013.Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy.)
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room, huh? Oh, it's pretty dark.
Monica: No, it's not!
Joey: Are you kidding? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
Joey: Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know. Or any other house, for
for that matter: used to add a comment on something that you have just said 其实；说实在的
Monica: Oh, Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Joey: Fine, okay. If you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get
used to that weird humming sound. [He turns his back to them and starts humming.] Hmm…
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Joey: No…hmm...It's not…hmm…
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there as Mike enters.]
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Mike: So, what's new?
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: That's great! You changed you name?
Phoebe: Yes, I did! Meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock!
Mike: You're kidding, right?
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Phoebe: Why? Why? It's fun. It's different. No one else has a name like it.
Mike: Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Phoebe: Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Mike: Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Mike Crap Bag?
Mike: No, no, Mike, just-just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Mike: Yeah, I'm serious. It's fun. It's different. And no one else has a name like that!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it. And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Future House. Joey is sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card.]
Joey: [turns the card around] Ow!
[A young girl enters.]
Mackenzie: Who are you?
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
Mackenzie: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
Mackenzie: I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. Alright, look, there's-there's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: Like what?
Joey: Um, oh! Okay, you come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Mackenzie: What are you, eight?
Joey: Oh, okay, let's hear your great idea.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: Ah! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now
Phoebe is married to Mike, that just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Mackenzie: My parents say I'm gonna make new friends.
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure. Easy for you. You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways.
be set in your ways: to have habits or opinions that you have had for a long time and that you do not want to change
Mackenzie: This is what my Mom was talking about. Whiners are winners. Look, you want your friends to
be happy, right?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah.
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Joey: Yeah, maybe.
Mackenzie: Then you gotta let them go
Joey: Oh, I hate to admit it, but you, you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: Just when I thought we could be friends.
[Scene: Outside Ralph Lauren Building. Rachel just walked out carrying a box of her stuff.]
the Ralph Lauren Employee: Hey, Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
the Ralph Lauren Employee: You still don't know my name, do you?
Rachel: Well, now I don't have to.
[In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors.]
revolving door [rɪ'vɔlvɪŋ]: a type of door in an entrance to a large building that turns around in a circle as people
go through it 旋转门
Rachel: Ross, what is taking you so long?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway!
Rachel: Mark? Oh, my God!
Mark: How have you been?
Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?
Mark: Sure, sure. [to Ross] What's with the chair?
[Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired.]
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so…
Mark: Clever. [to Rachel] So, so how are you?
Rachel: Oh, well, you're not catching me on my best day.
Mark: Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion.
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know. I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Mark: Are you sure? Because we may have something at Louis Vuitton.
Rachel: Well, screw charity work. What've you got?
Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?
Rachel: I'll call you!
Mark: [shakes Ross's hand] Nice to see you.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I got tenure!
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've-I've met him
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: That is Mark?
Ross: I hate that guy.
Ross: No, no, no, no, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job?
Ross: Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his sex-retary.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? Okay, let's talk about it later. There comes security.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's Future House. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees and the big front yards and the actual picket fences.
front yard: 前院
picket fence ['pɪkɪt]: a fence made of pointed wooden sticks with pieces of wood nailed across them (用尖木条连成的)
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Joey: Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around. But you know what? This house is great.
Chandler: Really? What changed your mind?
Joey: Oh, well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, thirty years ago.
Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you.
Joey: That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Chandler: You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?
Joey: Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
aquarium (<同>217.Phoebe: Oh, I thought they were just watching me, you know, like at, like at an aquarium.)
Chandler and Monica: No!
Joey: Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Mike: After you, Miss Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Thank you, Mr. Bag.
[A woman enters and recognizes Phoebe.]
Rita: Oh, hey, how are you?
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Rita! Good! [to Mike] Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Phoebe: Uh, Rita, this is my husband.
Rita: Oh! [They shake hands.]
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. [to Rita] This is my husband Crap Bag.
Rita: Crap Bag?
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Rita: Okay. Excuse me.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh. Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about, uh, how about Buffay-Hannigan?
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock.
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Mike: It's a Speedo.
Speedo (<同>722.Chandler: You're wearing Speedos that your Mom promised you would grow into!)
Phoebe: Oh, crap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are sitting at the kitchen.]
Monica: What are you thinking about?
Chandler: Oh, you know, the two dogs.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Ross: She's still at dinner?
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her, but I know he really wants
to sleep with her.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. My time machine works!
time machine (<同>219.Rachel: Well, look at you! Finally got that time machine working, huh?)
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a "job" for her, but I know he just
wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: Excuse me?
Monica: Oh, please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts
the whole time.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Monica: Oh, sorry!
Rachel: [entering] Hi, you guys!
Ross: Hey. So, um, how was dinner?
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Ross: Oh, yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
smarmy ['smɑrmi]: too polite in a way that is not sincere 爱说奉承话的；老于世故的
letch [letʃ]: man with strong sexual desires 好色者
Rachel: Oh, Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
He's happily married. (<比>910.Chandler: I'm happily married.)
Ross: Should we send something?
Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Rachel: He offered me one.
Chandler: That's great!
Rachel: I know. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You
didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's
Rachel: The job is in Paris.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: [on the phone] I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but am I missing opportunities? You know, I've
always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: [at the other end of the line] I don't know. But, you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my
bear. Hold on.
Joey: [on the phone] Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.