[Scene: Chandler and Joey's. Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
Ross: Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary. We've got reservations at Jean
Ross: Wow! How'd you get in there?
Chandler: Well, made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both
had the chicken and didn't get desert.
pull strings: to use your influence in order to get an advantage 走私人关系，走后门
seat somebody: to give someone a place to sit 为…领座，帮…找座
[There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. It's the pizza delivery girl.]
Caitlin: Hi, Chandler!
Chandler: Hey, Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut.
Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.
Chandler: Yeah, well, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Caitlin: It's, uh, 27 dollars even.
Chandler: Oh, okay. [hands her the money] Here you go.
[The duck starts quacking.]
Caitlin: Hey, where's the chicken?
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off. He said that eggs came first.
Caitlin: [laughs] Great. I'll see you later!
Chandler: Okay, bye!
[He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.]
Ross: What the hell was that?
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know, hmm, let's see, my sister?
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Ross: It was totally flirting! "Somebody got a haircut."
Chandler: Okay, first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting. That was just
casual conversation between two people. That is all.
uncanny [,ʌn'kæni]: strange and difficult to explain 出奇的
Ross: Yeah, right.
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. [starts to move towards Ross]
Ross: [backing away] I'm good. I'm good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Phoebe are in the kitchen.]
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey. I can't believe he's gonna be on Law & Order!
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order & Law?
Rachel: Oh, no, because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.
try: to examine evidence in court and decide whether someone is innocent or guilty 审讯；审理
Phoebe: Yeah, don't get me started on that.
[Ross and Chandler enter with the pizzas.]
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Ross: And on your anniversary. For shame!
For shame!: 不害臊！不要脸！
Rachel: What's going on?
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: I was not. And, oh, God, shh!
Ross: Well, I'm sorry, but you were, okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her, it's the guy
who's single, okay? The guy who-who-who can do something about it.
Phoebe: Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
[Ross looks at Rachel.]
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago. You've been married since then. I think it's okay that we
see other people.
Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.
Ross: And she was just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little…
Rachel: Okay, you know what? We don't need her measurements.
measurements ['mɛʒɚmənts]: the size of your waist, chest, hips (复数)(妇女的)三围(指胸围、腰围和臀围)
Phoebe: [looking through the pizzas] Okay, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni. Ross, I know she's
pretty and you love her, but is she stupid? She forgot my vegetarian!
pepperoni [,pɛpə'roʊni]: a kind of spicy sausage that is often sliced and put on pizzas 意大利辣香肠(参见104.文化详
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza and when she does, I will turn on
the charm au Ross. Oh, I am so glad you don't eat meat.
au [əu]: 法语中的缩合冠词，用于英语中常见的某些法语短语
Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.
vegetarianism [,vɛdʒə'tɛrɪənɪzəm]: If someone practices vegetarianism, they never eat meat or fish. 素食主义
benefit somebody: to be useful to someone or improve their life in some way 有益于 (<异>302.Phoebe: Hi, I'm
going to a benefit.<异>316.Chandler: Nobody's gonna benefit and you're just gonna hurt her.)
[Joey enters with his grandmother.]
Joey: Hey, everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother?
Rachel: Big night!
Phoebe: Yeah, it's so cool!
Chandler: So Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. [She just stares at him.] I've done it
Joey: Nonnie, Nonnie's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family who's always believed
in me. [says something Italian to her]
Grandma Tribbiani: Si. Big star! My big fat Joey star!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, I, uh, weighted like 27 pounds when I was born, so…
[Monica enters from the bathroom.]
Monica: Hey! Happy anniversary!
Chandler: Happy anniversary. Ten months! [They kiss.]
Monica: So, um, when I was in the shower, I was thinking about our first night in London…
Chandler: Oh, uh, Joey's grandmother's right there.
Monica: Is that the one who speaks English or the one that doesn't?
Chandler: The one that doesn't.
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.
Chandler: Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I got you tonight?
Monica: Oh, that's a great idea! I was saving them for something special.
Monica: [runs over to Phoebe] You've got to go home!
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me, okay? Chandler wants
me to wear them tonight.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for
Phoebe: Okay! [walks over to Rachel] Rach, hi, I need those earrings you borrowed.
Rachel: Oh, um, okay, yeah, I'll be, I'll be right back. [goes to her room.]
[Phoebe speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother.]
Joey: Wow, Pheebs, you speak Italian?
Phoebe: I guess so.
[Rachel enters and hands Phoebe the earring.]
Rachel: Here you go. Thank you!
Phoebe: Wait, Rach! Where's the other one?
Rachel: Oh, what, you-you want both of them? That's a little greedy, don't you think?
greedy [ɡri:di]: wanting more money, power, food, etc. than you really need 贪婪的
Phoebe: Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but
I definitely lost it.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Rachel: I don't know. Tell her to wear her own earrings.
Phoebe: These are her earrings.
Rachel: No! No! You lent me Monica's earrings? I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!
Phoebe: Why not?
Rachel: Because I lose her stuff!
[Time Lapse. The gang is now watching Law & Order.]
Joey: Okay, now see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later. [His grandmother
asks him something.] Oh, um, my big scene's coming up. Big scene coming up.
bash: to hit someone or something very hard 猛击 (<异>422.It's a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash
Chandler: If you said, "Big lima bean bubbling up", would she understand the difference?
lima bean ['laɪmə ˌbin]: flat round beans that are light green in color and are eaten as a vegetable. They are the
seeds of a plant that grows in tropical areas. 利马豆
Monica: [noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch] Rach? What are you doing?
Rachel: Oh, well, I just can't watch. It's too scary!
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ah!
[There's a knock on the door.]
Caitlin: Pizza delivery!
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! [runs over to open the door] How-how does my hair look?
Monica: Ross, it hasn't moved since 1996.
Caitlin: One vegetarian pizza. It's 12.50.
Ross: Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better, I, I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: I mean, the, uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought that your hair looked like an
8-year-old boy's, and I'm-I'm just saying I like it. The-the hair.
Caitlin: Oh, thanks.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: You know, all I'm looking for is the money.
Chandler: Here you go. [hands her the money] Now stop bringing us pizzas, you.
Caitlin: I'm gonna try.
[Caitlin leaves and Ross closes the door.]
Chandler: You're welcome.
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could you?
Ross: This is a girl I really like and you-you had to swoop in there!
Monica: What's going on?
Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: Thank you for that! [to Monica] I was not flirting.
Monica: It's okay. I don't care. It's, uh, it's fine.
Monica: It's no big deal. I do it all the time.
Chandler: So, um, you-you-you flirt with guys all the time?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference, all right? You are a lot hotter than I am.
Joey: [walking past] True story!
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! I think it'd bother a lot of people. Rachel, when, uh, when you were
going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: Uh, no, no. It bothered me when he slept with other women.
Ross: And thank you for that.
Rachel: But, you know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the
Ross: What? What-what? What are talking about? It-it worked with you.
Rachel: Oh! You know what? No, you're right! We met, you flirted and then—bam!—nine years later
you had me!
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna order another pizza and
when Caitlin gets here, you-you, I will show you how well I flirt. Yeah, I will, I will get her phone
Ross: And not the one on the menu!
Phoebe: [entering from Rachel's bedroom] I found it!
Rachel: Oh! Thank God! Where was it?
Phoebe: On your dresser.
Rachel: Okay, that is the one we already have!
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! [They have two cops on the street, then they
cut to where they're entering an apartment.] Oh, my God.
Joey: Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Chandler: Well, what is it?
Joey: Oh, they cut me out of the show.
Ross: Are-are you sure?
Phoebe: Maybe your scene's coming up.
Joey: Not likely! 'Cause you see that body bag right there?
not likely!: used to disagree strongly with a statement or suggestion 不可能！body bag: a specially designed large plastic bag which is used to carry a dead body away, for example when
someone has been killed in a battle or an accident (拉链式橡皮或塑料制)运尸袋
Joey: I'm in it.
Phoebe: This is terrible. What are you gonna do?
Joey: I don't know. This little old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our
Lives, she almost died.
live for somebody/something: to think that someone or something is the main purpose of or the most important thing
in your life 为…而生活，以…为生活目的
Phoebe: That's not good.
Joey: Yeah, we had to get her a home nurse.
Phoebe: Oh, my God!
Joey: Yeah, she almost died and got really expensive. No-no, smile! Not that face. Smile! Everybody
Rachel: Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? I mean, it's not your fault.
Chandler: If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?
[Grandma Tribbiani says something in Italian to Joey.]
Joey: Oh, uh, soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. I…There I am!
Grandma Tribbiani: No! Sam Waterston!
Joey: No-no-no, that's-that's me. That's me.
Grandma Tribbiani: No, Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One.
misdemeanor [,misdi'mi:nər]: an action that is bad or unacceptable, but not very serious 行为不端
Capricorn ['kæprikɔ:n]: the 10th sign of the zodiac, the Goat 摩羯座
Chandler: She doesn't know "Hello", but she knows Capricorn One.
[Phoebe gets up. Monica follows her.]
Monica: Phoebe! I have to have those earrings. We're gonna leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Monica: No, you didn't.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you. That's what I said. [walks away over to Rachel]
Rachel, where is that other earring?
Rachel: It's not here, Pheebs. It's not here. Oh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay!
Phoebe: Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.
jewelry box: a box for keeping jewels in 珠宝盒
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
Phoebe: Okay, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?