[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is reading a book as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hey, sweetie!
[He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it
slides into the kitchen.]
Monica: [picking up the book] "Chicken Soup for the Soul"?
Chicken Soup for the Soul: 《心灵鸡汤》系列丛书，内容主要是讲述平常人的真实故事，很有启发意义。该书非
Chandler: There's no back to this couch!
Monica: Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.
Chandler: Yeah, I know. I figured I'd give it a shot, you know. Maybe one of those stories would make me
cry and then you wouldn't think I was, you know, all dead inside.
Monica: Oh, that's so sweet! Chandler, I don't care if you can't cry. I love you.
Chandler: Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
hollow tin chest: 参见316.文化详解1.锡皮人(Tin Man)
Monica: Stop it!
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously, think about it. We get married. I'm up at the altar and I'm like
this. [makes a bored face]
Monica: I won't care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. [points to her heart]
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room
and you don't cry, so what? And-and, and if we take him to college and come home and we see his
empty room for the first time, and you got nothing? It won't matter to me.
Chandler: Okay. Well, I won't, uh, worry about this anymore then.
Monica: Yeah. And-and, you know, if I die from a long illness. And you're writing out my eulogy and you
open the desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you." And you still
can't shed one tiny tear? I know you'll be crying a river inside.
die from: 死于；因…而死(=die of)
eulogy ['jʊlədʒi]: a speech given at a funeral praising the person who has died 悼词
shed tears: (formal or literary) to cry 落泪
Chandler: Aw, I love you so…
Monica: What is wrong with you?
Monica: What? You can't shed a tear for your dead wife! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
the beyond: 来生，来世，再世
Chandler: So you didn't mean any of that?
Monica: No, you robot!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. His doorbell is ringing and he's running to answer it while doing up his
do up something: to fasten a coat, skirt, etc. 把(衣服)系好；把(鞋带)系上；拉上(拉链)
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to…[opens the door to find Jill standing
there] Oh, uh, Jill, um, that-that's just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Um, they've really
taken a liking to me. Uh, what-what-what's the matter?
take a liking to: 喜欢上…；对…产生好感
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight. Can I come in? I-I mean, I know we're not supposed to see
each other anymore and I'm okay with that. It's just that I don't know anybody in the city and I really
need somebody to talk to about it.
Ross: Of course. What-what happened? [lets her in]
Jill: [entering] I don't wanna talk about it.
Ross: Okay, um…
Jill: But you know what might really cheer me up?
Jill: Seeing some more of your super-cool slides.
super-cool: 超级酷的 (<词缀>super-构成形容词，表示"极、非常"。)
Ross: Wow! Really?
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Ross: Well, I'd love to! Here, you wait right here and I'll go get the projector and my notes!
projector [prə'dʒɛktɚ]: a machine that projects films or slides onto a screen or wall 放映机；投影仪
Jill: Oh, great! Thanks, Ross. You're such a good friend!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's. Rachel is entering.]
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I can't find her anywhere.
Monica: No, I haven't.
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe I'll just call him and see if he's actually seen her.
[She goes to look out the window at Ross's apartment and sees Jill closing the drapes with an evil look
on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.]
[Scene: Ursula's Apartment. Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: Who is it?
Phoebe: It's Phoebe! Phoebe!
[Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.]
Phoebe: [seeing her dress] Oh, God. So-so you're making porn movies.
Ursula: No, I'm not.
[Someone calls out from her apartment.]
Man's Voice: We're still rolling!
Phoebe: You're making one right now!
Another Man's Voice: Let's go, Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and you're using my name!
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Same Man's Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, I'm talking right now! You, you mean her.
Ursula: You know, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
seller: a product that has been sold in the amounts or way mentioned 畅销品
Ursula: Yeah, I could talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Phoebe: No! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! [yells into the apartment] And
shame on all of you! You're disgusting! Especially you with that! [storms away]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
Ross: Slides are almost ready.
Jill: Yeah. Oh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
Ross: Uh, okay, well, there-there's wine in the kitchen.
Jill: Oh, great! [goes to get it as the phone rings]
Ross: [answering it] Hello?
Rachel: [on the phone] What is my sister doing there? And why are the drapes shut?
Ross: [on the phone] O-okay, Rach, calm-calm down, okay? She's-she's really upset. We're just talking.
Rachel: [on the phone] Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Ross: [on the phone] Oh, so that's the only reason she could be here, huh? It couldn't have anything to
do with the fact that-that maybe I'm a good listener and I, uh, I put on a great slide show!
Rachel: [on the phone] Ross, I am telling you, she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: [on the phone] You know what? I think I can take care of myself. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.
[hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him] Whoa! Uh, that was your sister,
actually. She-she thinks that you're just using me.
Jill: So? [kisses him passionately]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Joey: Oh, no, not you too!
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks. There were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mm. And I won't have to go back there anymore because I gave them my "correct address" .
Joey: That's great. But isn't it gonna bother that people still think you're a porn star?
Phoebe: Oh, no! No! I-I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. [She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend.] You're trying to figure out where
you know me from? All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn, okay? [He tries to rush his girlfriend out.]
Yeah, your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! [to Joey] See?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Rachel, Chandler and Monica are there. Ross enters.]
Chandler and Monica: Hey.
Ross: [to Rachel] You, uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?
Ross: Um, she kissed me.
Rachel: What? You kissed
Chandler: [to Monica] Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Monica: [to Chandler] Shh!
Ross: Look, I, uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
Rachel: Well, it doesn't sound like it! I mean, it's pretty easy not to kiss someone. You just don't kiss
them! See, look at us, right now, not kissing!
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didn't stop it. I guess I-I just wasn't
Rachel: Yeah, that's right. You weren't thinking! You know what? Let me give you something to think
about! [She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.]
Ross: Hold on! But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
Rachel: Oh, well, thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth long enough to tell me that.
Ross: Look, I-I realized that if anything were to happen with me and Jill, then nothing could ever happen
Ross: No, I mean, look, I don't know if anything is ever going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I don't
wanna know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Rachel: Wow. I, I don't even know what to say. Thank you. [gently kicks him]
Ross: You're welcome. [gently kicks her back]
[Chandler starts crying.]
Monica: Oh, my God! Are-are you crying?
Chandler: [crying hysterically] I just don't see why those two can't work things out!
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there as Jill enters.]
Jill: All right, I'm leaving! 'Cause I'm not gonna spend one more day with someone who's out to sabotage
my every move. That's you, Rachel!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Jill: [to Ross] And you! I throw myself at you and you say no? How gay are you?
Ross: You take care, Jill.
Jill: Okay, I'm leaving. Don't worry about me. I'll make it on my own. [start to break up] Who knows how I'll
get by, or even if I'll survive.
get by: to manage to live or do a particular thing using the money, knowledge, equipment, etc. that you have 勉强
Rachel: Jill, you can, uh, you can stop that now. I know you made up with Daddy.
Jill: You do? How?
Rachel: Oh, just a wild guess. And, uh, your limo just pulled up.
wild guess: 乱猜，瞎猜
Jill: Yeah. Sorry I didn't get to know you guys better.
Monica: Absolute shame.
Jill: Okay, see you!
Chandler: [starts crying] I-I can't believe Jill's gone. [They all look at him.] I can't help it. I opened a gate.