[Scene: Ross and Carol's. Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper
on the couch.]
Ross: So, honey, this, uh, this threesome thing, um, I mean, how-how are we even gonna start to find…?
Carol: Oh, actually, I've been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this.
Ross: Oh. [He takes the notepad she was using and looks at it.] Wow! [flips to another page] Huh. [flips
another page] Boy! [flips another page] Well, someone's been doing their homework.
Carol: Yeah. Oh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so…
Ross: Oh, I know. You know, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda…
Carol: I know. Me too.
Ross: Yeah? Well, I-I think Ben's asleep.
Carol: Oh, um, you know, I think it'll be better if we just save it.
Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. [gets up and does a little karate]
[Scene: The Hospital. Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe .
Phoebe: [to Chandler] Why do you always wear that dumb hat? What, are you late for your paper route?
[in a childish voice] "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Here's your paper. I'm sorry about the window. Oh, I'm…eh…"
paper route: the job of delivering newspapers to houses (早晨骑车挨家挨户)送报工作
Ross: Hey, Pheebs!
Ross: Hey, how's it going?
Phoebe: Well, I've got to get out of this bed. I'm going crazy here. Crazy!
Monica: [handing her a cup] Here you go, sweetie.
Phoebe: What the hell is this? Herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!
Monica: But I put some honey in it.
[Phoebe mocks what Monica just said. Ross pulls Chandler aside.]
Ross: She doesn't know she was fired yet, does she?
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?
Chandler: [to Ross] But I think we should tell her.
Ross: Look, Pheebs, maybe this whole heart-attack thing is a sign that-that you should start thinking about
getting a different job.
Phoebe: Okay, what is this? A stupid contest? Because we've got a winner here! [points at Ross]
Chandler: Look, Phoebe, he's right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.
Phoebe: I know! But if I didn't work there, what else would I do?
Monica: Well, you used to like playing the guitar.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was lucrative! Smart like your brother!
lucrative ['lukrətɪv]: producing a large amount of money; making a large profit 获利丰厚的
Chandler: Uh, what about, you know, the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Phoebe: Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump
change, oh, what do I do? What will I do?
pull in: 赚(钱)
chump change: a small or unimportant amount of money 微薄收入；少量的钱
[Scene: Joey's Apartment. Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
Rachel: Oh, I mean, it's just so realistic!
Joey: I know. Yeah. His name's Pat.
Rachel: Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it! [laughs and finishes her drink]
Joey: Do you, uh, do you—ready for a refill?
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldn't—so I will! [notices that rain thing Joey has] Oh! Wow! It's like it's raining!
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if you're thinking you could put a fish in there and it wouldn't get sucked up into
the mechanism, well, you'd be wrong.
mechanism ['mekənizəm]: a set of moving parts in a machine that performs a task 机械装置
Rachel: Um, can I use your bathroom?
Joey: It's, uh, right through there.
Rachel: Okay. God, you know, I gotta tell you, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in
Joey Tribbiani's apartment.
Joey: Yeah, life's pretty great, isn't it?
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is! [sees a ceramic tiger by the wall] Oh, gee! Oh, woo! [pretends she has claws
too and quickly walks off to the bathroom as Joey laughs]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's. Monica is pouring wine for her boyfriend, Dr. Roger.]
Monica: I hope you're hungry. We're starting with oysters. You know what they say about oysters, don't you?
oyster ['ɔɪstɚ]: a large flat shellfish. Some types of oyster can be eaten and others produce shiny white jewels called
Dr. Roger: They have parasites?
parasite ['pærəsaɪt]: a small animal or plant that lives on or inside another animal or plant and gets its food from it
Monica: No! Um, well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
aphrodisiac [,æfrə'dɪzɪæk]: a food or drug that is said to give people a strong desire to have sex 春药；催欲剂
Dr. Roger: What people?
Monica: People! People say it! Come here! [She grabs him and kisses him.]
Dr. Roger: So, oysters, huh?
Monica: And then we're gonna have a little Middle Eastern couscous. Something we can eat with our
Middle Eastern: coming from or connected with the Middle East 中东的
Dr. Roger: You know, it's funny, when we were studying communicable diseases…
communicable disease: (医学)传染性疾病
Monica: No-no-no, no! It's sensual!
sensual ['sɛnʃuəl]: suggesting an interest in physical pleasure, especially sexual pleasure 肉欲的；性感的
Dr. Roger: Oh! Didn't know! Okay!
Monica: Okay! [They kiss again and his beeper goes off.] Oh, no!
Dr. Roger: I'm sorry, sweetie. It's the hospital. The food looks great. Maybe save me some?
Monica: I can't promise anything. [She starts to dig in.]
[Scene: Ross and Carol's. Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Ross: We're really gonna do this, huh?
Carol: Looks like it.
Ross: You know, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at anytime…[A knock on the door interrupts
Carol: [jumping up to get it] I got it!
Carol: [opening the door] Susan! Hi!
Susan: Hey! [They hug.]
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Susan: Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
not for the world: used to say that you would never do something 决不；无论如何也不
[They start moving towards the bedroom.]
Ross: I'm-I'm Ross, by the way.
Susan: [not taking her eyes off Carol] Hello, Ross. [takes off her coat and hands it to him] I love what you've
done with this space.
Carol: Thank you so much.
[They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susan's coat.]
Ross: How hot is this?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's. Chandler and Monica are eating dinner.]
Chandler: I'm sorry you're here with me instead of Roger.
Monica: Yeah, me too.
Chandler: Well, I could make it seem like he's here. [imitates him] "Here's some little known facts about
couscous. They didn't add the second 'cous' until 1979."
Monica: Stop it! That's not funny!
Monica: I'm sorry, okay? It just, tonight was supposed to be, you know, it was supposed to be a big deal.
Chandler: What was tonight?
Monica: You don't wanna know what tonight was.
Chandler: Okay. [pauses] What was tonight?
Monica: Well, tonight was-was going to be my first time.
Chandler: With Roger? [Monica shyly looks away.] Not just with Roger? [Monica shrugs.] Oh, my God!
Monica: All right, relax, Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!
Chandler: Four different women! I've had sex way more times!
Monica: How many?
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy, you know.
Chandler: Well, good. Good for you. You really think that Roger's the perfect guy?
Monica: No. He's not a horrible guy.
Chandler: Hey, that's what I tell girls about me.
Monica: Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin!
Chandler: No, you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Monica: Oh, really? When? You wanna do it with me?
Chandler: Okay. [They both realize what he just said.]
Monica: I was kidding.
Chandler: So was I.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment. Rachel is now three sheets to the wind and Joey is watching her.]
three sheets to the wind: 喝醉
Rachel: Joey, you're such an amazing actor! [He smiles.] How do you know where Dr. Drake Ramoray
leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake, they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it
up on my own.
Rachel: Wow! Tell me something, Joey—[She falls off the couch.] Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there.
Joey: Yeah, you did.
Rachel: Okay. [She climbs back onto the couch.]
Joey: Here you go. Let me ask you a question.
Joey: When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?
Rachel: Wow! I can't, I can't feel my hands.
Joey: Come on. Come here.
[He takes her hands in his and kisses each one, then kisses her on the lips. When they break the kiss,
Rachel starts to get nauseous and throw up. Joey backs away in horror.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's. Continued from earlier. Monica and Chandler are still discussing the
Chandler: We can't do this.
Monica: No! [They both laugh.] Oyster?
Chandler: Yeah! [takes it] If-if-if we did do this, there'd be a lot of pressure on me, you know. Because
you've been waiting for a very long time and I wouldn't wanna disappoint you.
Monica: Yeah, but, see, I have nothing to compare it to. So even if you're horrible, how would I know?
Chandler: I do like that.
Monica: It's harder for me! I've got those four other women to compete with!
Chandler: Well, if it helps, there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend helping out another friend.
Chandler: Stop it! We're not doing this! Let's do it!
Monica: No! Okay!
Chandler: Okay! [They both get up.]
Monica: So, um, do you have any, uh, moves?
Chandler: I have some moves.
Monica: I have no moves.
[He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.]
Monica: Okay, whatcha doing there? [giggles] Oh, you know what? I'm sorry, this is just too weird.
Chandler: Yeah, let's just forget it.
Monica: What if I turn out the lights? [runs to shut them off]
Chandler: Okay! [starts to moan] Oh, yeah.
Monica: That's the couch.
Chandler: I know.