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12月 27th, 2016

【原创】625.The One with the Proposal, Part Two—Part1

老友记笔记, by 李志萍.


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[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]

Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesn
't wanna get
married
?

Joey: Yeah!
And also, a little like a French guy. [They both squint at each other.] I never noticed that before.

Monica: 
[entering] Hi, guys

Joey: Hey
.

Chandler:
 Hey
.

Monica: What are you up to?


Chandler: 
Oh,
 we're just hanging out, talking about, uh, websites.
website ['websait]: a place connected to the Internet, where a company or an organization, or an individual person,
puts information 网站


Joey: Yeah.


Chandler: Y
eah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is
and how it
's just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
unnecessary [ʌn'nɛsə'sɛri]: not needed; more than is needed 不必要的;多余的
keep tabs on somebody/something: to watch someone or something carefully in order to know what is happening
so that you can control a particular situation 监视;密切注意


Joey: Yeah,
Big Brother.
Big Brother: a leader, a person in authority, or a government that tries to control people's behavior and thoughts,
but pretends to act for their benefit 实行"老大哥"式监视和独裁统治的人(或政府)
 (源自英国作家乔治·奥韦尔讽刺小
说《1984》)


Monica: 
That's a little crazy. Although, I am, you know, glad to hear that you're branching out on what you
look at on the Internet.

branch out: to start to do an activity that you have not done before, especially in your work or business 拓展新业
务;涉足新领域


Chandler: Yeah
. You know, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever wanna get married, huh?

Monica: Why?
To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one
another to the world!

solidify [sə'lɪdɪfaɪ]: (of ideas, etc.) to become or to make something become more definite and less likely to change
变稳固;使稳固


Chandler: Eh


Monica: Okay
, well, that's good to know

[A truck carrying "The Mr. Bowmont" has arrived.]

Joey: "The Mr. Bowmont"
 is here!

[Scene: Monica's Restaurant's Kitchen. She's cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]

The Waitress: 
Hey, Monica, there's a customer who wants to compliment the chef. Should I let him in?

Monica: Sure, I love this part!


The Waitress: Come on in.


Richard: Hi!


Monica: Richard!


Richard: Actually, I
'm not here to compliment the chef.

Monica: Oh
, oh, that's okay. I hate when people come back to compliment the chef. Like I have nothing
better to do! So
, what's up?

Richard: 
Well, it was great seeing you the other night.

Monica: 
Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?

Richard:
 No! I came here to tell you something else. I came here
 to tell you I still love you.

Monica: What
, uh—What did you—What?

Richard: 
I still love you. And I know I probably shouldn't even be here telling you this. I mean, you're with
Chandler
, a guy I really like. And if you say he's straight, I'll believe you! After seeing you the other night,
I knew if I didn't tell you, I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever
did.


Monica: Y
ou know, you're really not supposed to be back here!

Richard: 
You know, I'm sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place, but I had to tell you! I
wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.


Monica: Oh
, God. Why don't they put chairs back here?

Richard: Look,
 I know this is crazy, but am I too late?

Monica: What th
e…? Yes, you're too late! Where was all this three years ago?

Richard: Well
, I know. I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you. I really did! You know, after we had lunch
last year
, I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head.

Monica: What were you doing in Africa
?

Richard: Working with blind kids.


Monica: 
Oh! What are you doing to me? Oh, look, I-I…I'm sorry, but, um, this-this-this is not gonna happen.

Richard: 
Okay, that's fine. I'll walk away. And I'll never bother you again, but only if you tell me that 
Chandler
's willing to give you everything I am

Monica: Well
, he is! Yeah, I mean, marriage is all he talks about! My goodness. In fact, I'm the one that's
making him wait
.

Richard: You are?


Monica: Yeah
.

Richard: Why
?

Monica: Why? Because of the government
.

[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]

Rachel: Isn
't it incredible? Monica and Chandler are getting married.

Phoebe: I know
. They're gonna be so happy together.

Rachel: 
Oh, I mean, two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?

Phoebe: 
Not that often!

Rachel: No! I
'm so happy for them!

Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!


Rachel: 
I'm so happy and not at all jealous.

Phoebe: Oh
, no! God, definitely not jealous!

Rachel: I mean
, I'm probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And, I mean, what's 2%? That's nothing.

Phoebe: Totally. I
'm like 90/10.

Rachel:
 Yeah
, me too

[Joey enters wearing like a captain.]

Joey: Hey
, uh, [salutes to them] have you guys seen Chandler?

Rachel: 
Wh—no, but y
ou know who did stop in here looking for you? Uh, Tennille.
Tennille: 船长与塔妮尔(Captain & Tennille),参见309.文化详解2.

[Scene: A Pizza Joint. Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]

Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you don
't really believe that, do you?

Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is
unnatural. I mean, look at pigs. Let's
take a second here and look at pigs. Okay
, pigs don't mate for life. I mean, a pig can have, like, 100 
sexual partners in a lifetime. And that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports!
unnatural [,ʌn'nætʃərəl]: different from what is normal or expected, or from what is generally accepted as being
right 不自然的; 不正常的


Monica: Yeah, but that
's pigs, not people!

Chandler: If marriage worked, I
'd be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
be (all) for: (坚决)拥护,赞成

Monica: Wait a minute.
Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never wanna get married?

Chandler:
 Who's to say?

Monica: You! You are to say!

Chandler: 
Well, never say never, but, you know, probably, uh, yeah, never.

Monica: Oh
, my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing? What is this?

Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What is all this pressure? Is this some new kind of strategy? Why don't
you put down your copy of
 "The Rules", huh, mantrap?

Monica: You know what? I gotta go! Ugh!

[She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at him.]

Chandler: It
's okay. I got a plan

[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]

Rachel: We
're gonna find love!

Phoebe: Definitely!


Rachel: 
Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that. That's what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for
Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little
guarantee though.
guarantee: a firm promise that you will do something or that something will happen 保证 (<异>304.Host on TV:
…a revolutionary new product that guarantees you'll never have to open up milk cartons again.)


Phoebe:
 What do you mean?


Rachel: Well, you know, some people make deals with a friend, like, if neither of them are married by
the time they
're 40, they marry each other.

Phoebe: You mean a backup?

Rachel: 
Yeah, exactly!

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah
, I've got that.

Rachel: 
You do?


Phoebe: 
Mm-hmm.

Rachel: Who?


Phoebe: Joey.


Rachel: Joey?


Phoebe: Yeah!


Rachel: Are you serious?


Phoebe: 
Yeah, I locked him in years ago!

Rachel: 
W
ait. So If neither of you are married by the time you're 40, you're gonna marry Joey.

Phoebe:
 Yep, we
shook on it. Yeah, but, believe me, that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
shake on something: to shake hands in order to show that something has been agreed 握手同意

Rachel: Oh, seriously?


Phoebe: Oh, yeah. I think his exact words were
[She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and
purrs.
]

Rachel: Charming.


Phoebe: Well
, he's just a backup.

Rachel: Yeah.


[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is there as Monica enters.]

Joey: Hey
, Monica!

Monica:
 Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?


Joey: This is for my boat
. Pretty cool, huh?

Monica: Yeah, it
's great.

Joey:
 Whoa-whoa, what
's the matter? Talk to the captain!

Monica: I
'm just having one of those days where you realize you're in a dead-end relationship!
dead-end: A dead-end job or course of action is one that you think is bad because it does not lead to further
developments or progress. 无前途的;没有发展前景的


Joey: 
Chandler giving you a hard time, huh?

Monica: 
It's not like I wanna get married tomorrow! It's just that I-I'd like to believe that I'm in a relationship
that
's going somewhere, that I'm not just wasting my time!

Joey: Well, you know Chandler.


Monica:
 No
, I don't know Chandler! Not anymore! It's like, it's like something's changed.

Joey:
 Maybe you changed?


Monica:
 I didn
't change!

Joey: Maybe that
's the problem.

Monica: What?


Joey: Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is
unlikely to take a wife.

Monica: Is that some kind of
boat talk?

Joey: I don
't know! I haven't totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.

Monica: 
What does he think? Does he think I'm just gonna wait around for nothing?

Joey: Monica
, face it, Chandler is against marriage, and-and always will be!

Monica: 
You know, well, there's some people who do wanna marry me.

Joey: There are?


Monica: Yeah! Richard!


Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?
[Monica nods yes.] And-and Chandler's telling you how
much he hates marriage?


Monica: That
's right.

Joey: Chandler loves marriage!


Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that he
's a-a complex fellow who's unlikely to take
a wife! That-that he
's against marriage and always will be.

Joey: 
You got that from what I said?

[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Ross is watching TV.]

Narrator: When the Cretaceous period ended, the dinosaurs were gone.
narrator [ˈnæˌreɪt̮ər]: a person who tells a story, especially in a book, play, or movie; the person who speaks the
words in a television program but who does not appear in it
 叙述者;解说员

Ross: What happened
, you guys?

[There's a knock on the door.]

Ross: Rach
.

Rachel: Hey
, you!

Ross: Hey, come on in.


Rachel: Oh
, thank you. Hey, you know, I'm so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.

Ross: 
Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought we'd be able to make it work, but, uh, I guess it just wasn't meant
to be.


Rachel: 
Yeah, love. It's a tricky business, isn't it?

Ross: I guess so.


Rachel: 
So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time we're 40, we get
married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and we
've-we've already slept together, so, 
y
ou know, there'll be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No, like, "What's that?"

Ross: Right. Oh
, you-you want me to be your backup.

Rachel: 
Exactly.


Ross: Oh, yeah
, I already have one.

Rachel: 
What? Who?


Ross: Phoebe.


Rachel: Phoebe? Wait a—but-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.


Ross: Oh, I don
't think so.

Rachel: Ross!
I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!

Ross: That
's impossible! I mean, we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it. Although, 
believe me
, she wanted to do a lot more than that.

[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Joey is on the phone.]

Joey:
 Hey, Gunther. It's Joey. Is-is Chandler there? All right, listen, what kind of muffins do they serve
at sea?
[Chandler enters and he hangs up.] Where the hell have you been?

Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor
.

Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!


Chandler: 
What?


Joey: Yeah! Yeah
! I've been trying to find you to tell you stop messing with her and maybe I would have
if these damn boat shoes wouldn
't keep flying off!

Chandler: My—Oh
, my God

Joey: I know! They suck!


Chandler: He
's not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! I'm supposed to do that.

Joey: I know!


Chandler: Well
, whatYou know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna kick his
ass!
[pauses] Will you help me?

Joey: Look, Chandler
, I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution, okay? Look, just go and
find Monica!


Chandler: You
're right.

Joey: Yeah!


Chandler: Okay.
[starts running for the bedroom] I'm gonna get the ring! I'm gonna get the ring! I'm
gonna go find her and I
'm just gonna propose.

Joey: Oka
y.

Chandler: Okay.


Joey: Dude
, dude, dude!

Chandler: 
What?


Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone
. It might be good for the boat.

 

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