[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesn't wanna get
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. [They both squint at each other.] I never noticed that before.
Monica: [entering] Hi, guys
Monica: What are you up to?
Chandler: Oh, we're just hanging out, talking about, uh, websites.
website ['websait]: a place connected to the Internet, where a company or an organization, or an individual person,
puts information 网站
Chandler: Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is
and how it's just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
unnecessary [ʌn'nɛsə'sɛri]: not needed; more than is needed 不必要的；多余的
keep tabs on somebody/something: to watch someone or something carefully in order to know what is happening
so that you can control a particular situation 监视；密切注意
Joey: Yeah, Big Brother.
Big Brother: a leader, a person in authority, or a government that tries to control people's behavior and thoughts,
but pretends to act for their benefit 实行"老大哥"式监视和独裁统治的人(或政府) (源自英国作家乔治·奥韦尔讽刺小
Monica: That's a little crazy. Although, I am, you know, glad to hear that you're branching out on what you
look at on the Internet.
branch out: to start to do an activity that you have not done before, especially in your work or business 拓展新业
Chandler: Yeah. You know, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever wanna get married, huh?
Monica: Why? To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one
another to the world!
solidify [sə'lɪdɪfaɪ]: (of ideas, etc.) to become or to make something become more definite and less likely to change
Monica: Okay, well, that's good to know
[A truck carrying "The Mr. Bowmont" has arrived.]
Joey: "The Mr. Bowmont" is here!
[Scene: Monica's Restaurant's Kitchen. She's cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
The Waitress: Hey, Monica, there's a customer who wants to compliment the chef. Should I let him in?
Monica: Sure, I love this part!
The Waitress: Come on in.
Richard: Actually, I'm not here to compliment the chef.
Monica: Oh, oh, that's okay. I hate when people come back to compliment the chef. Like I have nothing
better to do! So, what's up?
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
Monica: Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you.
Monica: What, uh—What did you—What?
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldn't even be here telling you this. I mean, you're with
Chandler, a guy I really like. And if you say he's straight, I'll believe you! After seeing you the other night,
I knew if I didn't tell you, I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever
Monica: You know, you're really not supposed to be back here!
Richard: You know, I'm sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place, but I had to tell you! I
wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: Oh, God. Why don't they put chairs back here?
Richard: Look, I know this is crazy, but am I too late?
Monica: What the…? Yes, you're too late! Where was all this three years ago?
Richard: Well, I know. I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you. I really did! You know, after we had lunch
last year, I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head.
Monica: What were you doing in Africa?
Richard: Working with blind kids.
Monica: Oh! What are you doing to me? Oh, look, I-I…I'm sorry, but, um, this-this-this is not gonna happen.
Richard: Okay, that's fine. I'll walk away. And I'll never bother you again, but only if you tell me that
Chandler's willing to give you everything I am
Monica: Well, he is! Yeah, I mean, marriage is all he talks about! My goodness. In fact, I'm the one that's
making him wait.
Richard: You are?
Monica: Why? Because of the government.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Rachel: Isn't it incredible? Monica and Chandler are getting married.
Phoebe: I know. They're gonna be so happy together.
Rachel: Oh, I mean, two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Phoebe: Not that often!
Rachel: No! I'm so happy for them!
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Rachel: I'm so happy and not at all jealous.
Phoebe: Oh, no! God, definitely not jealous!
Rachel: I mean, I'm probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And, I mean, what's 2%? That's nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. I'm like 90/10.
Rachel: Yeah, me too
[Joey enters wearing like a captain.]
Joey: Hey, uh, [salutes to them] have you guys seen Chandler?
Rachel: Wh—no, but you know who did stop in here looking for you? Uh, Tennille.
Tennille: 船长与塔妮尔(Captain & Tennille)，参见309.文化详解2.
[Scene: A Pizza Joint. Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you don't really believe that, do you?
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean, look at pigs. Let's
take a second here and look at pigs. Okay, pigs don't mate for life. I mean, a pig can have, like, 100
sexual partners in a lifetime. And that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports!
unnatural [,ʌn'nætʃərəl]: different from what is normal or expected, or from what is generally accepted as being
right 不自然的; 不正常的
Monica: Yeah, but that's pigs, not people!
Chandler: If marriage worked, I'd be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
be (all) for: (坚决)拥护，赞成
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never wanna get married?
Chandler: Who's to say?
Monica: You! You are to say!
Chandler: Well, never say never, but, you know, probably, uh, yeah, never.
Monica: Oh, my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing? What is this?
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure? Is this some new kind of strategy? Why don't
you put down your copy of "The Rules", huh, mantrap?
Monica: You know what? I gotta go! Ugh!
[She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at him.]
Chandler: It's okay. I got a plan
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Rachel: We're gonna find love!
Rachel: Yeah, I'm pretty confident about that. That's what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for
Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
guarantee: a firm promise that you will do something or that something will happen 保证 (<异>304.Host on TV:
…a revolutionary new product that guarantees you'll never have to open up milk cartons again.)
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Rachel: Well, you know, some people make deals with a friend, like, if neither of them are married by
the time they're 40, they marry each other.
Phoebe: You mean a backup?
Rachel: Yeah, exactly!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, I've got that.
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Are you serious?
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him in years ago!
Rachel: Wait. So If neither of you are married by the time you're 40, you're gonna marry Joey.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah, but, believe me, that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
shake on something: to shake hands in order to show that something has been agreed 握手同意
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. I think his exact words were…[She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and
Phoebe: Well, he's just a backup.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is there as Monica enters.]
Joey: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Joey: This is for my boat. Pretty cool, huh?
Monica: Yeah, it's great.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, what's the matter? Talk to the captain!
Monica: I'm just having one of those days where you realize you're in a dead-end relationship!
dead-end: A dead-end job or course of action is one that you think is bad because it does not lead to further
developments or progress. 无前途的；没有发展前景的
Joey: Chandler giving you a hard time, huh?
Monica: It's not like I wanna get married tomorrow! It's just that I-I'd like to believe that I'm in a relationship
that's going somewhere, that I'm not just wasting my time!
Joey: Well, you know Chandler.
Monica: No, I don't know Chandler! Not anymore! It's like, it's like something's changed.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Monica: I didn't change!
Joey: Maybe that's the problem.
Joey: Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife.
Monica: Is that some kind of boat talk?
Joey: I don't know! I haven't totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Monica: What does he think? Does he think I'm just gonna wait around for nothing?
Joey: Monica, face it, Chandler is against marriage, and-and always will be!
Monica: You know, well, there's some people who do wanna marry me.
Joey: There are?
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you? [Monica nods yes.] And-and Chandler's telling you how
much he hates marriage?
Monica: That's right.
Joey: Chandler loves marriage!
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that he's a-a complex fellow who's unlikely to take
a wife! That-that he's against marriage and always will be.
Joey: You got that from what I said?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Ross is watching TV.]
Narrator: When the Cretaceous period ended, the dinosaurs were gone.
narrator [ˈnæˌreɪt̮ər]: a person who tells a story, especially in a book, play, or movie; the person who speaks the
words in a television program but who does not appear in it 叙述者；解说员
Ross: What happened, you guys?
[There's a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Hey, you!
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Rachel: Oh, thank you. Hey, you know, I'm so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought we'd be able to make it work, but, uh, I guess it just wasn't meant
Rachel: Yeah, love. It's a tricky business, isn't it?
Ross: I guess so.
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time we're 40, we get
married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and we've-we've already slept together, so,
you know, there'll be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No, like, "What's that?"
Ross: Right. Oh, you-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Oh, yeah, I already have one.
Rachel: What? Who?
Rachel: Phoebe? Wait a—but-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Ross: Oh, I don't think so.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: That's impossible! I mean, we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it. Although,
believe me, she wanted to do a lot more than that.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: Hey, Gunther. It's Joey. Is-is Chandler there? All right, listen, what kind of muffins do they serve
at sea? [Chandler enters and he hangs up.] Where the hell have you been?
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I've been trying to find you to tell you stop messing with her and maybe I would have
if these damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!
Chandler: My—Oh, my God
Joey: I know! They suck!
Chandler: He's not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! I'm supposed to do that.
Joey: I know!
Chandler: Well, what…You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna kick his
ass! [pauses] Will you help me?
Joey: Look, Chandler, I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution, okay? Look, just go and
Chandler: You're right.
Chandler: Okay. [starts running for the bedroom] I'm gonna get the ring! I'm gonna get the ring! I'm
gonna go find her and I'm just gonna propose.
Joey: Dude, dude, dude!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone. It might be good for the boat.