[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Why does Joey keep talking about chimney sweeps and vicars?
Rachel: Uh, I think he's just been rehearsing for an episode of his show.
Phoebe: 'Cause it really sounds like a bad porn novel.
[Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: I can't believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: I don't know. My mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. She's saving the rest
for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has, he saves for his yearly trips to Dollywood.
Rachel: Well, what happened at dinner?
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
Phoebe: My God! What did you order?
Rachel: Wait, but, there's no money? Well, this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in,
like, a, rec center!
rec [rɛk]: 娱乐；休闲(等于recreation，仅用于复合词中，如rec room)
Monica: Oh, my God, you're right. And we're gonna have to be out by 6, so, you know, they can take out
the floor for senior swim.
Chandler: Honey, it's gonna be okay.
Monica: No! No, it's not! It's not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Phoebe: Oh, no, but that's good. You don't want lilies. If a cat ate them, it would die.
Phoebe: I'm just saying that now you could invite cats.
Rachel: No, you know what? It's gonna be okay. I mean, you don't need to have this rustic Italian feast,
you know. And-and you don't need this custom-made, empire-waisted, duchess satin gown. You can
wear off the rack. [She starts to cry, as does Monica.]
rustic ['rʌstik]: (approving) typical of the country or of country people; simple 质朴的(表赞许)
custom-made ['kʌstəm'meid]: designed and made for a particular person 定做的
empire-waisted: 法兰西第一帝国时代流行的那种腰的 (<例>empire: (建筑、艺术、家具、服饰、装饰等)法兰西第一
duchess satin gown: 公爵夫人锻婚纱
off the rack: (of clothes) made to a standard average size and not made especially to fit you (衣服)现成的
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that we're
gonna get married.
Rachel: Do you even understand what "off the rack" means?
Phoebe: Look, why don't you just pay for it yourself?
Monica: How? I don't have any money.
Chandler: Well, I have some.
Monica: How much?
Chandler: Well, close to…[writes it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica]
Monica: Whoa! Are you kidding me?
Rachel: Well, what? How-how much is it?
Monica: It's enough for wedding scenario A.
Rachel: Oh! Really?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait. [checks the book] Scenario A has lilies. And someone's gonna have to break it
to the cats and it ain't gonna be me.
Monica: [to Chandler] How great are you, you little saver? I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the
budget of my dream wedding!
Rachel: [starting to cry] Oh, you guys are so made for each other.
Chandler: Well, you're not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?
Rachel and Monica: Ah, yeah!
Chandler: Look, Mon, I've been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for
the future, not just for a party.
earmark ['ɪrmɑrk]: If resources such as money are earmarked for a particular purpose, they are reserved for that
Phoebe: [reading the slip of paper] Wow! [in a sexy voice] Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Monica: Sweetie, this is the most special day of our lives.
Chandler: No, I realize that, honey, but I'm not gonna spend all the money on one party.
Monica: Honey, um, I-I love you, but, um, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get
invited, okay? Listen, we can always earn more money, okay? But, uh, we're only gonna get married once.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down, okay? The answer is no.
put your foot down: to be very strict in opposing what someone wishes to do 坚决反对
Monica: You-you're gonna have to put your foot down?
Chandler: Yes, I am!
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Hey, Rach.
Rachel: [quietly] Joey.
Joey: Hey, Rach, do you smell smoke?
Rachel: Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.
Joey: No-no-no, I'm serious. You don't smell it? Something's on fire.
Rachel: No, no, I don't smell anything.
Joey: Oh, you know what? It's probably just your burning loins.
Ross: Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
Ross: [takes a drink] Hmm. Damn, this coffee is cold! Hey, Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your
loins? [Joey and he both laugh.]
Rachel: You know, I cannot believe you told him, Joey!
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up, huh?
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah, I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. [exits]
wear out: When something wears out or when you wear it out, it is used so much that it becomes thin or weak and
unable to be used anymore. 用坏；用尽
Ross: [chases her] Oh, yeah, yeah? Well, uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines!
[to a table of women] 'Sup?
Phoebe: [entering] Ross! How could you do that to an old man?
Ross: [looking at the table] Excuse me, ladies. [to Phoebe] I'm sorry?
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me
gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Ross: I gave him an extremely professional massage!
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
Ross: Okay, so it wasn't, uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him acupressure with a pair of
chopsticks. And, and, I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
acupressure ['ækju,preʃə]: 指压按摩疗法。藉由指腹按压于穴道上，刺激神经、血管和肌肉机能，进而调节生理状
况，达到增进舒适、促进循环的功效。(<近>112.Jasmine: And Miss Summerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.)
exfoliate [ɛksˈfoʊliˌeɪt]: to remove dead cells from the surface of the skin in order to make it smoother using
something such as a brush or a special cream 使鳞片样脱皮
Phoebe: Well, he's never coming back, okay? You just cost me $80 a week!
Ross: Hey, you know what? This is your fault! You're the one who didn't move his-his appointment.
Phoebe: Oh, it's my fault? You didn't have to massage him! You could've sent him away! You could've
not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Ross: He said he liked that! Oh, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry.
Joey: Dude, what were you massaging an old man for?
Ross: His daughter was hot.
Phoebe: Look, Ross. I really need that $80 every week.
Ross: Look, I'm sure you'll find another massage client, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm sure I will too. But until then, I'm gonna massage you every week for the price of $100.
Ross: You just said 80.
Phoebe: Do you want me to mess up your puzzle?
Ross: 100 it is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Rachel is balancing her checkbook. Joey enters from his room wearing a
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Joey: The vicar!
Rachel: Do you even know what a vicar is?
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
goalie [ˈɡoʊli]: (in soccer, hockey, etc.) a player whose job is to stop the ball from going into his or her own team's
Rachel: Yeah. Look, Joey, it's enough, all right? The joke's over. I'm sick of it!
Joey: You mean, this isn't the sweet torment you've been waiting all your life for?
torment ['tɔrmɛnt]: extreme suffering, especially mental suffering (常指精神上的)极度痛苦
Rachel: Joey, I'm serious, all right? It's enough! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy
innuendos and it's—I'm not—it's just not funny anymore!
sleazy ['slizi]: If you describe something or someone as sleazy, you disapprove of them because you think they are
not respectable and are rather disgusting. 不名誉的；令人厌恶的
innuendo [ˌɪnyuˈɛndoʊ]: an indirect remark about someone or something, usually suggesting something bad or
offensive; the use of remarks like this 影射；暗讽
Joey: All right, I'm sorry. Rach, I, Rach, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! Maybe I can make it up to you by taking
you roughly in the barn.
Rachel: Oh! All right! You know what? That's it! You wanna do it? Let's do it!
Rachel: [starting to move closer to him] That's right. I wanna do it with you! I've been trying to fight it, but
you just said all the right things.
Joey: [nervously backing away] I-I-I-I did? [He puts a stool in front of her.]
Rachel: [moves the stool out of the way] Yeah! Oh, I've been waiting so long to get on that body!
Joey: This body? [He backs into the kitchen.]
Rachel: Yeah, that's right! Come on, Joey, sex me up!
Joey: Hey-hey, you're starting to sound like the butcher's wife there in-in chapter seven.
butcher [ˈbʊtʃər]: a person whose job is cutting up and selling meat in a store, or killing animals for this purpose
Rachel: Oh, come on, now, don't keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But I would keep that helmet
on 'cause you're in for a rough ride! [He backs into the door.]
Joey: I don't want to. I'm scared.
[Rachel walks away, pleased with herself.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Monica: Listen, um, I've been thinking, and it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our
wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Well, you work for that.
Chandler: Look, I've thought about it too. And, I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the
Monica: You do?
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah, look, when I proposed, I told you that I would do anything
to make you happy. And if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. [They hug and kiss.] Oh, but, wait, what about our, what about the future
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, you know. We'll pick our
favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, you know. Like a small place outside the city where our kids
could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. You know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and
we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment
over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Monica: You know what? I-I don't, I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
Chandler: Sure you do.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: I love you. [They kiss.] Hey, listen, um, when, when you were talking about our future, you said
cat, but you meant dog, right?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, totally!
Monica: Oh, good.
[Scene: Ross and Phoebe's. Phoebe is massaging Ross.]
Phoebe: Room temperature okay?
Phoebe: Excellent. Is the music too loud?
[Phoebe hits Ross's back with a large book and he screams.]
Ross: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry. Were you expecting a traditional massage with the hands?
Phoebe: Now, just try to relax.
[Phoebe goes off to get a large dinosaur ornament.]