[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Everyone is there. They are finishing watching the first episode of Mac
Mac: [on TV] Well, we learned one thing today, C.H.E.E.S.E., is that cheerleaders and high explosives
high explosive: a very powerful substance that is used in bombs and can damage a very large area 高能炸药；
C.H.E.E.S.E.: You can say that again, Mac.
Mac: Well, I couldn't have done it without you, buddy. You're a genius.
C.H.E.E.S.E.: Oh, yeah? Well then, how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Joey: [laughing and turning off the TV] So, what did you guys think?
[They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. The phone starts to ring.]
Rachel: The phone.
Monica: I got it. I got it. [on the phone] Hello? [listens] Hold on, please. Joey, it's your Mom.
Chandler: It's your Mommy. It's your Mommy.
Rachel: That's nice.
Joey: [on the phone] Ma, so what did you think? [He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out
what they're gonna say.]
Rachel: Well, that was, um…okay.
Ross: It wasn't the best.
Chandler: That was one of the worst things ever. And not just on TV.
Monica: What are we gonna tell him?
Ross: Well, the lighting was okay.
Rachel: Oh, no, you don't! You got lighting last time. Lighting is mine!
Monica: And I have costumes.
Ross: Oh, great! That means I'm stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there and you were sitting right
Rachel: What are you gonna do, Pheebs?
Phoebe: I don't know. I don't know. I can't lie to him again. Oh, no, I—no! I'm just gonna press my breasts
up against him.
Chandler: And say nothing?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah, that's right.
Joey: [hangs up the phone] Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? [Phoebe
walks up to him and presses her breasts against him.] It wasn't that good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Monica: Do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?
Rachel: [entering, excitedly] Oh! Hi, you guys, oh, my God! You'll never gonna believe happened to me
today! I am sitting in my office and…
Joey: [entering, excitedly] You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Joey: Oh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.
Rachel: Okay, so, anyway, I'm sitting in my office and guess who walks in.
Joey: I'm gonna be on two TV shows!
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, that's great!
Joey: Oh, you weren't finished?
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. [to Monica and Phoebe] It was
Ralph Lauren! [Monica and Phoebe gasp.] Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Joey: Uh, Rach, if you're gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.
Rachel: It's the same story.
Joey: Wow, it's really long.
Rachel: Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that he's so happy with my work that he wants me to be
the new merchandising manager for Polo retail.
merchandising ['mə:tʃəndaiziŋ]: used to refer to the way stores and businesses organize the sale of their products,
for example the way they are displayed and the prices that are chosen 销售规划(商业)
retail ['ri:teil]: the selling of goods to the public, usually through stores 零售
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
Monica: I'm so happy for you!
Joey: Well, these really are the days of our lives.
Joey: Well, since you ask, they want me back on "Days of Our Lives"!
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Rachel: I got—I get a big pay raise!
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, hey!
Joey: I'll be playing Drake Ramoray's twin brother, Stryker!
Monica and Phoebe: Oh!
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Monica and Phoebe: Ah!
Joey: [jumps up] Well, I got a head rush from standing up too fast right there.
[Scene: Rachel's New Office. She's interviewing a potential new assistant.]
Rachel: [reading the resume] And you were at this job for four years?
Hilda: That's right.
Rachel: Okay, well, this is all very impressive, Hilda. Um, I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did
I do? Was this okay?
Hilda ['hildə]: 希尔达(女子名)
Rachel: I've never interviewed anyone before. I've actually never had anyone work for me before. Although
when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isn't the same thing.
Hilda: No, dear, it's not.
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. So…All right, well, thank you so much for coming in. It was nice to meet
Hilda: Thank you! Good meeting you.
Rachel: All right. [Hilda exits.] I'm a total pro!
[There's a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.]
Rachel: Wow! Hum! Hi! Yes, uh, I'm sorry, the models are actually down the hall.
Tag: Actually, I'm here about the assistant job.
Rachel: Really?! [taking his resume] Okay, well then, all right, well, just have a seat there. Um, so what's
—what is—what's your name?
Tag: Tag Jones.
Rachel: Uh-huh, go on.
Tag: That's it. That's my whole name.
Rachel: That's your whole name. Okay, of course it is! Okay, well, let's-let's just have a look-see here.
look-see: a quick look at something 快速的检查或观看
Tag: I know I haven't worked in an office before, and I really don't have a lot of experience, but, uh…
Rachel: Oh, come on, what are you talking about? You've got three years painting houses. Two whole
summers at T.G.I. Friday's. Come on!
Tag: It's lame, I know. But I'm a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn…
goal-oriented: 目标导向的 (<复合>-oriented名词后，构成形容词，表示"以…为方向的")
Rachel: Okay, just hold on a second, please. [She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.]
Sorry, it's for Human Resources. Everybody has to do it. Would you just stand up, please?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their
easy chair: a large comfortable chair 安乐椅
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no. [waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other]
Hey! [Monica shushes him.]
Phoebe: [to Monica] Anyway, I should go.
Phoebe: Okay, bye.
Monica: [to Chandler] Hey, sweetie.
Chandler: Hi, sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
Monica: I can't tell you. It's a secret.
Chandler: Secret? Married people aren't supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too
much love and respect for one another.
Monica: Aw. [kisses him] But still, no.
Chandler: No, I'm serious. We should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why don't you tell me what happened to Ross junior year at Disneyland?
Chandler: Oh, no-no, I can't do that.
Monica: If you tell me, I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I
say "restaurant", I mean a guy, a hibachi and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And,
anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
trunk [trʌŋk]: the space at the back of a car that you put bags, cases, etc. in 后备箱
Space Mountain: 飞越太空山，是以外太空为主题的室内过山车
iffy ['ifi]: not very good in some way 不太好的；有毛病的
Monica: Oh, my God. He threw up?
Chandler: No, he visited a town a little south of throw up.
Monica: [laughs hysterically] No!
Chandler: Yeah, some of the employees decided to rename the park "The Crappiest Place on Earth". So
what was Phoebe's secret?
rename [,ri:'neim]: to give someone or something a new name 给…重新命名；给…改名
Monica: Um, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe's old massage place is getting fired.
Chandler: Oh…That's it? I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Monica: That's right! You lose, sucker! [pauses] Please still marry me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler, Rachel and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Chandler, you have an assistant right?
Chandler: Did she call? You-you told her I was sick, right? Always tell her I am sick!
Rachel: No, I-I just don't know how do you decide who to hire. I mean, I've got it narrowed down to two
people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then there's this guy…
Chandler: What about him?
Rachel: I love him. He's so pretty. I wanna cry! I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Phoebe: Come on, you know what to do! You hire the first one! You don't hire an assistant because they're
cute. You hire them because they're qualified.
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what you're saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense, but can I just say
one more thing? [takes out his picture.] Look how pretty!
Phoebe: Let me see. Oh, my God!
Phoebe: Oh…But no! No! You can't-you can't hire him, 'cause that—it's not professional. Um, this is for me,
yes? [puts the picture in her pocket]
Rachel: Okay, you're right. I'll hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb, old, perfect-for-the-job Hilda!
Chandler: Let me see this guy. [Phoebe hands him the picture.] Wow! Don't show this to Monica! And
don't tell her about the "Wow!"
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives Producer's Office. Joey enters.]
Terry: Hey-hey-hey, Joey!
Joey: Hey, Terry!
Terry: Nice to see you again!
Joey: It's been a while, huh? Wow, it's funny these halls look smaller than they used to.
Terry: It's a different building.
Joey: So! Stryker Ramoray, huh? When do you want me to start?
Terry: Why don't we start right now?
Terry: Here are the audition scenes.
Joey: Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Terry: Why would you think that?
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Ramoray, Stryker's twin brother. I mean, who looks more like me than me,
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Joey: You know, Terry, I-I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, with a robot.
Terry: I'm sorry, Joey. That's…that's the way it is.
Joey: Well, I guess you think you're pretty special, huh? Sitting up here in your fancy small hall building,
making stars jump through hoops for you, huh? Well, you know what? This is one star whose hoop…
This is a star that the hoop—this hoop—I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!
[Scene: Rachel's Office. She's there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Rachel: Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there
aren't any plants in your office, so I wanted to bring you your first…[notices her plant] There is a plant in
Tag: And that was there yesterday, wasn't it?
Rachel: Yeah, I got it the same time I got that one.
Tag: Right. So I guess I shouldn't put "good at noticing stuff" on my resume. [sets the plant down on her
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Tag: Anyway, I'm guessing you hired somebody.
Tag: Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. [starts to leave]
Rachel: But I hired you!
Rachel: Yeah! You-you got the job! You're my new assistant!
Tag: I am?
Tag: I can't believe it!
Rachel: Me either.
Tag: Rachel, thank you so much!
Rachel: Oh, big hug.
Rachel: No, handshake. Well, okay, let's get started. Um, all right, first thing I need you to do is go
downstairs and find a woman named Hilda and tell her to go home.