[Scene: Rachel's Office. Rachel is searching one of Tag's drawers. A blonde woman appears.]
Emily: Excuse me.
Rachel: He is not here! My God! Do you people have nothing better to do than to traipse into my office
and just gawk at my assistant?
Emily: I'm Emily from upstairs. Susan's still in the hospital. I'm collecting money to send her flowers.
Rachel: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Okay. Yes, of course. [gives her money] Just take it all. Take it all.
And, please, please, give my best to Emily.
Emily: I'm Emily!
Rachel: Yeah, no, I meant…the other one that you said.
[Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
Rachel: Hi, Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with, uh, with Joey last night?
Tag: Oh, yeah! We went to the Knicks game.
Rachel: Oh, that's nice.
Tag: Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women!
Rachel: Wo-women? You mean, like, like, old women?
Tag: Well, kinda old, like 30.
Tag: And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night.
Rachel: Oh, that's great! Wow, man, so Joey must've really taught you some stuff, huh?
Tag: A little.
[A beautiful women walks up.]
Tag: [in the Joey voice] How you doin'?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile.]
Joey: See? That's a great smile! Easy, natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. [Chandler immediately
does The Face.] You're changing it!
Chandler: I can't help it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Chandler: Borrow money from me?
Joey: Yeah. Okay, first-first of all, you wanna make it look spontaneous, right? Okay, here's what I do. I look
down, look down, keep looking down, then I look up. See? All right, now you try. Look down, you're looking
down, keep looking down.
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Joey: I had a donut.
Rachel: [entering] Hi!
Rachel: So, uh, I heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Joey: Yeah! That guy's all right!
Rachel: Yeah, and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Rachel: You know, all the women.
Joey: Hey, wait, you can't teach someone to be good with women. You know, that's why I never had any
luck with Chandler.
Chandler: I'm right here!
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he
and all these women, it's just—And I know he's my assistant and I can't date him, but it just bothers me,
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you can't take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!
Chandler: I'm still right here!
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least talk to him and tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this
dating-tons-of-women thing is!
hollow: without real value 空洞的；没有价值的 (<异>610.Rachel: This bench, it's hollow!)
unsatisfying [,ʌn'sætɪsfaɪɪŋ]: not giving you any satisfaction 无法令人满足的；不能令人满意的
Rachel: I just don't want him to meet anybody until I'm over my crush. And I will get over it. It's-it's not like I
love him. It's just physical! But, you know, I mean, I get crushes like this all the time! I mean, hell, I had a
crush on you when I first met you!
Joey: I know. Monica told me.
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me when you first met me?
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
[Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.]
Chandler: Can you people not see me?
Rachel: [to Joey] So, will you talk to him?
Joey: I don't know, Rach.
Rachel: Oh, come on! I'll give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Joey: One! [pauses] No, ten! You said ten! You can't take that back!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Tag: Hey, Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I don't know. You, uh, you got something for me?
Tag: Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
[He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.]
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now, Tag, there's such a thing as too many women.
Joey: Yeah, for you!
[Scene: The Portrait Studio. Monica is playing with her hair while waiting for Chandler to make another
attempt at taking a good picture.]
Monica: [to the photographer] How much would it cost to get big fan in here? [seeing Chandler approach]
Hey! There you are!
Chandler: There I am!
Monica: Are you okay?
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I, uh, I needed to relax, so he gave me an antihistamine.
antihistamine [,ænti'histəmi:n]: a drug used to treat allergies 抗组胺剂
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Chandler: I don't know, but don't worry, don't worry, because I know how to take a picture now. [They get
ready.] Okay, see? Look down, look down, look down…[He falls asleep.]
Chandler: [awakens] Yeah! [looks up and does The Face]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: So, how are things going with Crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okay? And FYI, she must've shown Kyle over 30 paint
samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I don't give a tiny rat's ass."
give a damn: 介意；关心；视为重要
Phoebe: Yeah, well, maybe she should've spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the
Ross: Well, I don't think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe that's just because I am not
unavailable [ʌnə'veiləbl]: not able or not willing to see, meet, or talk to someone 得不到的；见不到的；不能交谈的
Phoebe: You think he's emotionally unavailable?
Ross: I think he can be.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldn't be if she didn't bring the office home every night!
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year's Eve 1997.
Ross: I knew you were gonna throw that in my face! That was three years ago! She apologized and she
apologized! What more do you want?
Phoebe: [gets up and starts to leave] We want the last six years back!
Ross: So do we! So do we! [Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.] I'm sorry you had to see that.
[Scene: Rachel's Office. Tag is entering.]
Tag: Morning ,Rachel.
Rachel: Hi! [He hands her her mail.] Hey, so, uh, what did you do last night?
Tag: Went out with Joey.
Rachel: Oh, yeah? Another night of bird-dogging the chickas?
bird-dog: 猎取 (<例>bird dog: a dog used in hunting to bring back birds that have been shot 捕鸟猎犬)
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I don't think I'm gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
Tag: It's just not really who I am. You know, I've always been happier when…Why am I telling you this?
You don't care about this stuff.
Rachel: Oh, yes, I do! I do! I mean, come on, go on. You were, you were saying I am happier when,
uh, you know…
Tag: When I'm in a relationship. I love having a girlfriend.
Tag: Yeah! Someone I can spoil, you know.
Tag: Uh-huh! Let me ask you something?
Tag: Do you believe there's one perfect person for everyone?
Rachel: Well, I-I'm starting to.
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it, right?
Rachel: Yes! Hell, yes.
Tag: All right, then, it's settled.
Tag: I'm getting back together with my ex-girlfriend.
Rachel: I would love to!
Rachel: [picks up the phone] Hello? [listens] Oh, yeah! [to Tag] This is gonna be a while. Excuse me.
[Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him disgustedly.] Yeah. Yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now they're not talking to each other.
Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Ross: My God!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry. Is that annoying? Oh, and speaking of being selfish in bed, how's Whitney?
Ross: Well, maybe she wouldn't have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Phoebe: Oh, he knows! [quietly] For the most part.
[Kyle and Whitney enter.]
Kyle: Oh, hey! Good, you're both here.
Whitney: We kinda need to talk.
Phoebe: Both of you, together?
Ross: Wh-what's up?
Whitney: Well, I went over to Kyle's last night to pick up a few things and we got to reminiscing.
reminisce [,remi'nis]: to think, talk, or write about a happy time in your past 缅怀往事；叙旧
Kyle: We talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other
is because there are still feelings there. So…
Ross: Oh, just say it, Kyle!
Kyle: We're gonna give it another try.
Phoebe: What about her whining and her constant need for attention?
Whitney: I'm gonna work on that.
Phoebe: Oh, right, 'cause you're so capable of change.
Ross: [to Whitney] You know, he hums when he pees!
Whitney: I do know.
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Whitney: We're so sorry. [They get up to leave.]
Ross: That's all right. We-we don't need you, all right? In fact, hey, I'm over it already.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you know what? I don't even give a tiny rat's ass.
Kyle: Yeah, we're gonna go. [They leave.]
Ross: [to Phoebe] I'm sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. You know, she did try to use
sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Phoebe: Oh. You know, he hums while he does other stuff too.
Ross: Yeah, we're better off without them.
Phoebe: And, you know, even if they break up again, you better not let him in your sad men's club!
Ross: Divorced men's club.
Phoebe: Potato, Potaato.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: You know, Pheebs, we don't talk that much anymore.
[Joey sits down and then Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Monica: Hey, guys, check it out! My Mom sent me the paper!
Phoebe: Oh, let's see it!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, that looks good.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. [The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that
Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.]
Joey: Yeah, we look great together.
Monica: Yeah, we really do!
Monica: Wow! Imagine what our kids would look like!
Joey: You know, we don't have to imagine.
Chandler: I'm marrying her.
Joey: We'll just see.