[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Monica and Phoebe sitting on the floor next to Clunkers basket.]
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, we should probably go back now.
Phoebe: [doing Clunkers] Please don't leave me. I'll be lonely.
Monica: Stop it. Stop! Okay, let's go. We can be strong.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little.]
Monica: Oh, my god! Did you hear that? She said "Monica"! Oh, I can't leave her!
Phoebe: You know, if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Monica: That's not gonna work.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
Monica: Hey! I didn't know either.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you kinda knew that something was going on, didn't you?
Monica: Yeah, I knew.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Ross lays a lot of small papers shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor.
Phoebe: Where's Chandler?
Chandler: Here I am. [comes out of the bathroom]
Phoebe: Wash your hands!
Chandler: How did you…know? [heads back into the bathroom]
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Ross: Hey! What's she doing back here?
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Ross: Hey, look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically...
Phoebe: No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away
from my bedroom.
Ross: Yeah, but, but, look, what I'm...
Phoebe: See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. [She rushes into her room]
Chandler: [comes out of the bathroom] Where's Monica?
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Chandler: Why not?
[We can hear the dog whining at a high pitch.]
Ross: Monica's crying. She's very upset about this whole Clunkers thing.
Chandler: Well, I, I should go in there.
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Chandler: Why not?
Ross: Because you sent away the dog!
Chandler: That's ridiculous. [He heads for Phoebe's bedroom]
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day,
my Dad decides he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend…Phyllis…take away the dog. And that
was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that only with a few details changed.
Joey: [entering] Okay, I'm in my sweatpants. Bring on the food! [sees that Chandler has a worried look
on his face] What's the matter?
Chandler: Monica's all upset because I sent Clunkers away.
Joey: So? Bring the dog back. You're a hero.
Chandler: Yeah, I can be a hero. I could do that. I could, I could do…I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me?
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
gerbil ['dʒə:bil]: a small desert animal like a mouse, that is often kept as a pet 沙鼠
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you?
Joey: Ross, you need some help?
Ross: From you? [He does a desperate laughter.] Yes, please!
Joey: [sits down next to Ross] First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
[Scene: Ross' Apartment. Chandler is looking for Clunkers.]
Chandler: Okay, Clunkers. Come here, you big gerbil. Clunkers? Where's my clunkers, my little Cl-
No-no-no, I'm not going to do that voice! Clunkers. [Chandler see that he left Ross' door open.]
Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. Come back here, you furry little butt-sniffer. [exits Ross's apartment]
Not you, ma'am!
[Time lapse. Ross is still laying a lot out the states.]
Ross: I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.
[Rachel enters the door.]
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
Rachel: Yeah. Oh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? [in a girlish voice] I have a crush on you. I am
attracted to you. [back to normal again] Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Rachel: What was I thinking? I work with this man. I have to see him every day. How did this happen to me?
Oh, oh, wait. That's right. It was because of you! [hits Joey a little]
Joey: All right, all right, uh, all right, I think I can help you. You wanna know what you have to do?
Rachel: Please help me!
Joey: Okay, okay, okay. Now, all right, you are gonna wanna talk to him about this, right? But trust me,
Rach, that'll only make it worse. You have to deny everything! That conversation out there never happened!
Rachel: Joey, I don't think that's gonna work. It was a pretty long conversation.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! There was no conversation!
Rachel: Joey, I'm just gonna talk to Tag.
Joey: Who's Tag? There's no Tag!
Rachel: Okay, this conversation is over.
Joey: See? It works!
Phoebe: [opens her bedroom door and peeks out] Hey, is Chandler here?
Joey: No, no, he, uh, went for a walk.
Phoebe: Okay, you cannot tell him, but look who's back!
[The dog barks, runs out of Phoebe's room and jumps onto the couch.]
Rachel: [gasps] Hi!
Joey: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross's to bring the dog back here!
Phoebe: Oh, no, the dog's not going to be there!
Joey: You think?
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the dog with a blanket.]
Monica: Hi, honey.
Chandler: Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
Monica: What? Why, why would…?
Phoebe: [to Monica] Shh, wait and see. Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross's apartment to bring back Clunkers, you know, for you. And…I left
the door open and she must've gotten out. And I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including
the roof, which, FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so,
so sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. [points up and then over to the street]
Phoebe: We have good news. Look who's back!
Rachel: [uncovers the dog] Hi!
Chandler: Clunkers? Oh, my god!
Monica: That's right. She came back all by herself.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
Chandler: [to Clunkers] It is so good to see you!
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross's building. Oh, the things she must've seen! And
then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we
ran to let her in…I went too far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
[Time lapse. It's after dinner. Ross stands up from his self-made map.]
self-made ['self'meid]: 自制的；自己搞出来的
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you some, I have 49 states,
and there are no more! I-I think I should be able to eat something.
Chandler: It's up to you.
[Ross whines and starts working again. The door opens and Tag enters.]
Rachel: Oh, hi! How are you doing?
Tag: I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mugshots.
mugshot [ˈmʌɡʃɑt]: a photograph of someone's face kept by the police in their records to identify criminals (警方拍
Tag: Thanks for having me over, you guys.
Ross: Tag? You-you're going? Uh, we didn't, uh, we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where-where
did you say you're from again?
Colorado [,kɔlə'rɑ:dəu]: a state in the western United States. Its capital and largest city is Denver. 科罗拉多(美国
Ross: Eh, what good are you?
[Rachel and Tag go into the hall.]
Rachel: Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should've said what I said. You know what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean,
we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us. And what I would love is just to
go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day, Monday, lots to do. So
Tag: Um, I'm not.
Rachel: Oh, God. I know it. I freaked you out.
Tag: No, you didn't. The only thing that freaked me out was you saying that nothing could ever happen
Tag: Yeah, so please don't fire me for doing this. [He kisses her.]
Rachel: Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler. Later that night. There is someone knocking on the door and Chandler
stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Ross: Delaware! Delaware!
Chandler: All right.
Ross: [hands Chandler his pad and walks in] I want my turkey now!
Chandler: You got it. [starts looking at the pad] You got Nevada twice.
Ross: [pauses] I know.
Chandler: Yeah. [throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom]