[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is on the phone. Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Chandler: Bye-bye. [hangs up] I just got us reservations at Michelle's and tickets to "The Music Man" to
celebrate our first holiday season as a betrothed couple.
betrothed [bɪ'trəʊðd]: having promised to marry somebody 已订婚的
Chandler: …betrothed couple.
Phoebe: [entering] Hey!
Rachel and Monica: Hi!
Phoebe: Ha! [puts a skull on the table] Ah!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, it's my Mom's.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not, it's not my Mom. It belonged to Mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every
Christmas to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it.
Ross: [entering] Hey!
Monica: [offering Ross the skull] Licorice?
Ross: Sure! [takes one] Hey, I just found out I get Ben for the holidays this year.
All: Oh! That's great!
Monica: Are you gonna dress up as Santa?
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
[Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper]
Rachel: [to Monica] Did you know he was in there?
Chandler: How long have we been home?
Monica: About half an hour.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you going to change your last
name to Bing?
Chandler: Why not?
Monica: Bing's weird.
Chandler: Yeah, I know what you mean, Geller!
Phoebe: [entering] Oh, hey, you guys!
Monica and Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Guess what? My landlord just called and my apartment's gonna be ready soon, so I guess I'll be
Monica: Ah, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well, I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Chandler: Oh! You guys are gonna be living together again?
Phoebe: Yeah, why not?
Chandler: Well, she's just having so much fun with Joey. I just assumed she'd still be living with him.
Phoebe: Why do you think she's having so much fun living with Joey?
Chandler: No reason, except she…told me.
Phoebe: Really? So she said she didn't wanna live with me anymore?
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Phoebe: You're sure? You're absolutely sure?
Monica: Well, no. But, um, I'll bet she probably does.
Phoebe: Oh, probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. I know what "probably" really means. Yeah, uh-huh.
Yeah, "Oh, your Mom probably won't kill herself", you know. You know, "No, the funeral director
probably won't hit on you". Yeah, " That-that nice couple probably will adopt you." Yeah, okay, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "probably", you know.
You gotta take care of yourself in this world. You know, history teaches us nothing! [exits]
funeral director: a person whose job is to prepare the bodies of dead people to be buried or cremated , and to
arrange funerals 殡仪员；殡葬事宜承办人
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Rachel: [entering] Hey!
Joey: Hey! Great, you're home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas? [starts drumming]
Joey: [yelling] No! Drums!
[Scene: Michelle's. Chandler and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Hi, could we get two burritos to go, please?
Monica: I'm sorry, but not that sorry, because you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation
under the name Chandler Bing.
the Maitre D': Okay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Chandler: 45 minutes? We have tickets to "The Music Man" at 8.
the Maitre D': I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
Chandler: Is this because of the burrito thing?
Monica: [pulling Chandler away] You need to give him money.
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like this are always shaking you down. Everybody wants to a payoff.
shake somebody down: to threaten someone in order to get money from them 向…敲诈勒索
payoff ['peiɔ:f]: a payment of money to someone so that they will not cause you any trouble, or to make them
keep a secret 贿赂钱
Chandler: Right, calm down, O'Malley. I'll slip him some money.
O'Malley: 1970年迪士尼动画电影《猫儿历险记》(The Aristocats)中的角色
Monica: But you've got to be smooth about it.
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. [walks back to the Maitre D'] Listen, we're in a little bit a hurry, so, if you
could get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. [shakes his hand]
the Maitre D': Of course, sir.
Chandler: Okay. [walks back to Monica]
Monica: How did it go?
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. [shows her his left hand with the money in it]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Ross is whirling Ben around.]
Ross: Hey, uh, you don't feel like you're gonna throw up, do you?
Ross: Well, I do, so let's…[They sit down on the couch.] So, Ben, you, uh, you know what holiday is
coming up, don't you?
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Ben: Christmas eve.
Ross: Yes, but also…Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
reindeer ['rein'diə]: a deer with large horns called antlers that lives in northern areas of Europe, Asia, and
Ross: Right, um, but, on Hanukkah, Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle. See, years and years ago,
there were these people called the Maccabees.
Maccabees ['mækəbi:z]: 马加比家族，公元前一世纪统治巴勒斯坦的犹太祭司家族，参见107.文化详解2.
Ben: [singing] Jingle bells, jingle bells…
Ross: Okay, that's right, yes. But on Hanukkah, we sing, uh, [singing] Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you
out of clay.
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay: 出自歌曲"I Have A Little Dreidel"
Ben: [singing] Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer…
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer…: 出自圣诞歌曲《红鼻子驯鹿鲁道夫》，参见310.文化详解5.(1)
Ross: Okay, it's not a contest.
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ben: No Santa? Was I bad?
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad. You've been very good, Ben.
Ben: Santa's mad at me?
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Ben: So Santa's coming?
Ross: Yes! Santa's coming!
Ben: Will he bring me an ant farm?
Ross: Will you keep it at Mommy's?
Ross: Then sure!
[Scene: Michelle's. Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre D'.]
Chandler: Maybe this slipping-him-money thing is not gonna work. You know, maybe we should just wait.
Monica: You're the one who said you would die if you didn't see "Music Man"!
Chandler: I didn't say "die". I said "cry".
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
Monica: I don't know.
Chandler: Richard used to do it, didn't he?
Monica: We'd be eating our soup right now.
Chandler: Mustached bastard.
Monica: Okay, those people just left. Come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table!
Chandler: [walks up to the Maitre D'] Excuse me...
[Chandler can't find his money. In the meantime, another couple shows up.]
the Man: [to the Maitre D'] We're in a bit of a hurry. Can we…? [shakes his hand]
Chandler: [finds his money] Ah-ha-ha-ha! [turns around to give the Maitre D' his money, but he isn't there
[Scene: The Hallway. Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's.
She enters and sees that Rachel is the one that is playing.]
Rachel: [stopping at Phoebe's entrance] Ha!
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! You know, I was worried that, you know, they would
create maybe an unbearable living situation, but, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. [to Rachel] Ready? One, two, three, four…
Rachel and Joey: Tequila!
Tequila: 1958年摇滚乐队the Champs录制的一首器乐曲，其中说了三次"Tequila"
Phoebe: That's fun.
[Scene: Central Perk. Gunther is serving Chandler and Monica coffee.]
Gunther: Here you go.
Chandler: Thank you, Gunther, put it there. [He shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out of his
hand.] Definitely not easier with coins. [Joey picks them up.] Thank you.
Joey: Thank you. [Phoebe enters.] Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: Here. [gives her the coins] Now I only owe you 49.50.
Chandler: Hey, Pheebs!
Chandler: If you wanna get Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him
something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vial of smallpox to release in the hallway?
disrupt [dis'rʌpt]: to make it difficult for something to continue in the normal way 妨碍；扰乱
wrecking ball: a heavy metal ball that swings from a crane and is used to hit a building to make it fall down 落锤破碎
vial ['vaiəl]: a small glass container, for medicine or perfume (装香水、药物等的)小瓶
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear,
"Oh, my eye! Oh, God, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Phoebe: Maybe on some level.