[Scene: Rachel's Birthday. Everyone is presenting their gifts to Rachel.]
Tag: This one's from me.
Tag: It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun.
Rachel: A scooter!
scooter ['sku:tə]: a type of child's bicycle which has two wheels joined by a wooden board and a handle on a long
pole attached to the front wheel. The child stands on the board with one foot, and uses the other foot to move
Ross: [to Tag] Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you.
Chandler: Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!
Joey: Hey, now you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys?
Chandler: For my last birthday, you gave me a hug! [to Rachel] Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Rachel: Okay. [opens the card and reads it.] "Happy birthday, grandma! It's better to be over the hill than
buried under it. All our love, Monica and Chandler." [crying] That's funny!
over the hill: (of a person) old and therefore no longer useful or attractive (人)衰老的
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! That was a joke!
Rachel: No, I know! I get it! It's funny!
Chandler: No, because you're not a grandmother!
Rachel: No, I know. Because to be a grandmother, you have to be married and have children and I don't
have any of those things. That's why it's so funny. I'm just gonna go…[runs into her room]
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
[Scene: Rachel's Birthday. Time lapse. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Ross: Hey! Look who's back! It's the birthday girl! How's the birthday girl feeling?
Rachel: Well, I feel fine, but I think you're bumming out the rest of the kids. Okay! You know what? I
realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan.
See, I wanna have three kids…
Phoebe: Oh, let me guess. And you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have
them for your brother.
Rachel: As I was saying, I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I'm 35, right?
Which gives me five years.
Rachel: I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Phoebe: If you could do that, I'd marry the Hippity Hop.
Rachel: So, if I wanna have a kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34, which gives Prada
four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh, wait, but I do wanna be married for a year before I get
Monica: Really? That long? [to Chandler] Look all you want, it's happening!
Rachel: No, so I don't have to get married until I'm 33! That's three years. That's three whole years—oh,
wait a minute, though. I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding. And I'd like to know the guy for,
like, a year, year and a half, before we get engaged…Which means I need to meet the guy by the time
Ross: Which is fine because you just turned—[removes two candles from the cake] 28!
Rachel: No, Ross! No, it is not fine! According to my plan, I should already be with the guy that I'm gonna
[Tag jumps into view of the open door on the scooter with Joey following breathlessly behind.]
Joey: Will you quit hogging it?
[Scene: Monica's Birthday. Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Rachel: Oh, I'm telling you, it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
Ross: [to Monica] You're drunk! Mom and Dad are gonna be mad! Maybe I'm a little drunk.
Joey: [to the waiter] Hey! Are those crab cakes? Did I not tell you to come straight to me when more
crab cakes were ready?
crab cake: 蟹肉饼，参见322.文化详解2.
Chandler: [to Monica] How are you feeling?
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now!
Ross: I really wish that you wouldn't.
Chandler: Now, all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed,
okay? Just smile and don't talk to anyone.
Phoebe: [clinking two glasses together] Speech! Speech! Let's hear from the birthday girl, huh?
Phoebe: Don't you see? Everyone's looking at me! The plan's working! I didn't even have to take off my top
Judy Geller: Speech! Come on, Monica!
All: Come on! Speech!
[Monica stands up and wobbles slightly. Chandler runs over to catch her.]
Jack Geller: Hey, Chandler, you can't keep your hands off her for one second!
Judy Geller: Oh-ho, I think it's nice.
Chandler: I think it's necessary.
Monica: I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends…
Monica: I'd really like to say that I'm, um…You know what I'd really like to say? I'm drunk! That's right,
Mom and Dad, your little Harmonica is hammered! And guess what? I've been drunk before! And
I've smoked a cigarette! And I've had a box of Ding Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! It's
all okay. It's okay, because I turned 30 today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a
grown-up. [falls over]
Phoebe: [to Joey] Okay, quick, help me get this off! [motions to her top]
[Scene: Phoebe's Birthday. She's telling everyone what she found out at Ursula's.]
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I can't believe it! This is so unfair!
Joey: Come on, Pheebs. It'll be okay.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it? I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Joey: That's not gonna happen. No. [looks up] Because we have a new deal!
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I…I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I
Joey: Like what?
Phoebe: Like, okay, I-I-I haven't met any Portuguese people! I-I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't
been to sniper school!
Portuguese [ˈpɔrtʃəˌɡiz]: from or connected with Portugal 葡萄牙的；葡萄牙人的；葡萄牙语的；葡萄牙文化
sniper ['snaɪpɚ]: a person who shoots at someone from a hidden position 狙击手
Monica: Phoebe, you know, why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while, all right? I'll see you guys later. Thanks. [gets up
Rachel: Okay. Oh, poor Pheebs.
Joey: Hey, you know what, you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home. [runs out]
Monica: Oh, man!
Monica: He's gonna eat the cake!
[Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! Listen, uh, close your eyes. [She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.]
Maybe that's one thing you can cross off your list.
cross somebody/something off something: to draw a line through a person's name or an item on a list because
they/it is no longer required or involved 划掉，删去，勾销
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Joey: Oh, and plus I'm 1/16th Portuguese.
Phoebe: Oh! [walks away smiling]
[Scene: Ross's Birthday. His car is still trapped in its spot.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up and move it. Now, all we need is teamwork,
okay? We're gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
Rachel: Ross, I really don't think this…
Ross: Lift and slide!
Monica: All right, come on, dogs! Let's lift this sucker! Oh, unless you're scared, little weaklings scared.
Chandler: Good teamwork! Okay, here we go.
Ross: All right, everyone, lift and slide! [The car does not move.]
[Scene: Rachel's Birthday. She is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Rachel: Hey, Joey…
Joey: Oh, come on, Rach! My turn just started!
Rachel: Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
Joey: Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
Rachel: Whatever, okay? I'm not your mother.
Joey: Okay! [runs off downstairs]
Rachel: Not in the street!
Rachel: [to Tag] Hi.
Tag: How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?
Rachel: Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm, um…Let's talk.
[They sit on the step.]
Tag: What's up?
Rachel: Oh, Tag, um, you're such a great guy and we have so much fun together, but I-I don't…
Tag: Wait! I think I see where you're going. But before you say anything else, can I just say one more
thing? [kisses her]
Rachel: Well said! And a, uh, good example of the fun I was referring to. Oh, but I just think I'm past
the point where I can, you know, just have fun.
well said!: I agree completely 我完全同意
Tag: Rachel, don't do this. This is just because you're turning 30.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But you're just a kid! I mean, you're, you're 25!
Tag: 24, actually.
Rachel: Oh, God! You know what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well, actually, if I'm wishing for
stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
Tag: Me too.
Rachel: Yeah, I'm sorry. [They hug.]
[Time lapse. Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Chandler: Hey! How'd it go?
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Phoebe: You did the right thing.
Joey: [entering with the scooter] I don't like this anymore.
Chandler: Well, here we are. Just a bunch of 30-year-olds.
Ross: Well, do you realize in ten years we're gonna be 40?
Joey: [crying] Why, God? Why are you doing this to us?
[Scene: Ross's Birthday. Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked.]
Ross: Yes! My baby's finally free!
Joey: All right! [They jump in the car.] Start it up! Let's go!
[A big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car.]
the Man in Sportscar: How hot are we?
Ross: You wanna buy a car?