[Scene: Chandler's Office. Doug is entering.]
Doug: Bing! We're all set for tonight. 8:00.
Chandler: Oh, uh, as it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work.
Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didn't work, unless you call turning into her mother "work". Now, fine. Tomorrow night
Chandler: Oh, uh, well, tomorrow's no good for her, either.
Doug: Oh? Why not?
Chandler: It's the semifinals of her boccie ball tournament.
boccie ['bɔtʃi:]: an Italian version of bowls played on a lawn smaller than a bowling green (意大利式)室外地滚球戏
Doug: Okay, the night after that then.
Chandler: Well, that's the finals, and I think she's gonna go all the way, sir.
Doug: What's going on, Bing? Does, uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Chandler: Well, now-now you're just talking crazy.
Doug: So why can't the three of us go out together?
Chandler: Because, uh, we-we, we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Doug: Good God, Bing. I, well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. I saw the way she looked at you, and
there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
altogether: You use altogether to modify a negative statement and make it less forceful. (修饰否定陈述以减轻语气)
Chandler: You know, what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke
Doug: I know how you feel. Oh, yeah, I know what it's like to give a woman all your love and then have that
love thrown back in your face. And then the court decides to give you custody of those fat, left-handed
left-handed: (of a person) finding it easier to use the left hand to write, hit a ball, etc. than the right 左撇子的
Chandler: Well, they're-they're lucky you have you, sir.
Doug: Bing, my boy, we're gonna get you over this. Here's the plan. Grab your coat. We're going to a strip
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no, Monica would freak. [Doug looks at him.] But to hell with that bitch!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Here we go.
Ross: Mona, um, I think it's time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
it's time we-we had… (<比>722.Monica: It's time you two talked.)
Mona: Yeah, I-I think I suggested that.
Ross: Aw, we-we are so…So, um, well, I-I-I like you and I-I love, um, you know, hanging out with you. And,
I mean, I'm-I'm having a lot of fun.
Ross: I mean, there's no point in spending time with someone if-if it's just fun. I mean, it's gotta be, it's gotta
be going somewhere, right? So where-where is it going? Ah! That's-that's the real question. And-and the
answer is…it's going somewhere…fun. Now I-I know what you're thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years
ago, you know, but, I mean, you're-you're not getting any younger. No, I mean, no, not you, not you. You-you
are getting younger. I mean, you-you look like you're getting younger by the, by the second. What's your
Mona: I'm sorry, so, um, so where are we?
Ross: Well, well, to sum up, we're having fun, you look young.
Ross: But that's not enough. So…so…here's a key to my apartment.
Mona: You don't think this is too fast?
[Ross groans no.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake he's made with
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?
Ross: Not just a key. I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship!
Monica: Why did you give her a key?
Ross: She talked me into a corner. Okay, she's like this conversational wizard!
she's like this conversational wizard (<比>409.Ross: Gandalf is like the party wizard.)
Rachel: So, you had the conversation you didn't wanna have, and you made the gesture you didn't wanna
Ross: Did I start this by saying "Hey, I did something awesome today"? Do either of you have a key to my
Monica: I don't think you've ever given us keys.
Ross: Yeah, why would I? It's my home!
Phoebe: [entering with some guy] Hey. Oh ,Ross! How'd the conversation go?
Ross: Oh, great. I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where?! [Ross exits.]
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Monica: Hi, Roger.
Rachel: Hi, Roger.
Phoebe: So, um, I'm gonna get us some drinks. [to Rachel] Could you help me out?
Rachel: Yeah, okay. [They go into the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Um, he's here to have sex with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome.
Rachel: Phoebe, no!
Phoebe: It's okay. He's a virgin.
Monica: Rachel, um, I was just talking to this guy and I think he'll have sex with you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, let's leave these two alone.
Rachel: No! You guys, I don't care what my hormones are doing! I am not gonna just do it with some
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger 'cause he was really looking forward to this!
[Scene: A Strip Club. Doug and Chandler are there.]
Doug: Oh, Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls.
Chandler: Oh, that's all right, sir. And that's just one girl.
Doug: Bing, what's this? [grabs his hand]
Chandler: It's a hand. It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, it's a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We're gonna go to the East River right now and throw
it in there!
East River: 东河(美国纽约州东南部的海峡，位于曼哈顿岛与长岛之间)
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no!
Doug: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah. You know, I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better. And if you whip it just right, you
might hit a seagull in the head.
seagull ['siɡʌl]: a bird with long wings and usually white and gray or black feathers that lives near the ocean 海鸥
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. A locksmith has finished changing the locks on Ross's door.]
locksmith ['lɑk'smɪθ]: a person whose job is making, fitting, and repairing locks 锁匠
Ross: Okay, and, oh, I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I-I give them away for no reason at
Mona: [entering] Hey, Ross, what's going on? You're changing the lock?
Ross: No. That guy is.
Mona: I don't understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
the Locksmith: Good luck, buddy. [exits]
Mona: Um, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you're-you're sending me all these mixed signals.
What are you trying to tell me?
Ross: I'm trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Ross: I love you!
Mona: Oh! Oh! [hugs him.] And I love spending time with you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hi, honey, I'm home.
Monica: From the tequila factory?
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug, I told him that you and I split up. So then
he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldn't give him my wedding ring,
he threw a soda can at a bird!
sleazy ['sli:zi]: (of a place) dirty, unpleasant, and not socially acceptable, especially because sex is involved 庸俗
Monica: Come here. I can breath through my mouth. Oh, sweetie. [hugs him]
Chandler: You know what the worst part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. You know,
it was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise me that you will never leave me, that we
will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
It's a Wonderful Life: 《生活多美好》，参见220.文化详解6.(9)
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Chandler: Oh, I-I don't know if we're there yet.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: [on the phone] Yes. Hi. I'd like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond
guy delivering tonight? Very Abercrombie & Fitch. [Joey enters.] I'll call you back.
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: It's just the pizza place.
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends.
Rachel: I'm sorry, honey, I'm just having a, having a rough day.
Joey: Oh, what's wrong?
Rachel: Oh, you really, you really just don't wanna hear about it.
Joey: Then why did I ask?
Rachel: Okay, it's just—and this is really embarrassing—but lately with this whole pregnancy thing, I'm just
finding myself…How do I put this? Um, erotically charged.
Joey: Is that college talk for "horny"?
Rachel: Yeah. So, you know, I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do about them, because I
can't date like a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship. I mean, all I really want is
one great night. Just sex, you know. No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel
comfortable with and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard…
to find? [looks at Joey] So how-how was your day?
Joey: Good. I, uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and it's almost 7:00.
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.
Rachel: Okay, good night!
Joey: Good night. [pauses] I can't do it!
Rachel: I didn't ask you to do it!
Joey: You're Rachel!
Rachel: You're Joey!
Joey: You're my friend!
Rachel: Right back at you!
Right back at you! (<比>802.Tag: Like your sweater. Ross: Oh, hey, right back at you.)
Joey: Yeah! Plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Rachel: And so bad. I don't even know what you're talking about because I didn't ask you to do anything!
Joey: I know! [pauses] You wanna do it?
Joey: Ah, me neither! I'm just testing you!
Rachel: Hey, well, that's the end of this conversation!
Joey: This conversation never happened!
Rachel: Never happened! Good night!
Joey: Good night! [They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living
room.] Get back in there! [Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn't right, and I, and I wanna make
it up to you. So, um, I brought you something that I think you'll really enjoy. Okay. [goes into the hallway and
returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cut-out] Now, this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna, I'm gonna want him
back. So…I'm gonna go now. I'm sorry, I thought I could do it and I can't! [She grabs the cut-out and exits for