[Scene: Outside Mona's Apartment. Ross is knocking on the door.]
Ross: Mona? [There's no answer. He uses her extra key to open the door.] Okay, if I were a salmon shirt,
where would I be? Upstream. Damn, nobody's here for my good ones.
upstream: 上游的 (<例>Salmon manage to swim upstream to lay their eggs. 鲑鱼设法游到上游产卵。)
[He hears a key in the door. As it opens, he dives behind the couch.]
Mona: [entering with her date] I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Mona's Date: Oh, it's okay.
Mona: No, it's still wet. You know what? Let me get it out before it sets. Oh, I have something you could
wear. Here. [hands him Ross's shirt]
Mona's Date: Oh, um, I-I don't know if I wanna wear a woman's shirt.
Mona: No-no, that-that's a man's shirt.
Mona's Date: It's awfully pink. [Ross mouths, "It's salmon!"]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Chandler: Oh, my God, honey, we are so meant to be together. Look, we both have copies of the Annie
Monica: Honey, both yours.
Rachel: [entering] Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Monica: Yeah? The work problem?
Rachel: Oh, it was perfect! I mean, it really felt like he was my friend again.
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Rachel: Oh, that-that's not important. The point is, I really, I think everything's gonna be okay.
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's Office. He's in a meeting as Joey bursts in.]
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Joey: You think you can just buy my friend's baby?
[Scene: A Restaurant. Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Isn't it funny how we kept running into each other? It's as if someone really wants us to be together.
Jim: Someone does. Me.
Phoebe: Oh, witty banter. Well done. Good.
banter ['bæntɚ]: teasing or joking talk that is amusing and friendly 无恶意的玩笑
Jim: So, tell me a little bit about yourself.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Well, I'm a masseuse. And I used to work at this place…
Jim: Do you like to party?
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Jim: You're wild, aren't you?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, I guess, a little.
Jim: It ain't no thing. I'm wild too.
Phoebe: So! Um, anyway, I-I-I've lived in New York, somewhat wildly I guess, for um—well, since I was
Jim: I'm sorry. I'm staring. It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Phoebe: Oh, stop it.
Jim: And your breasts! Hmm!
Phoebe: Okay. Look, you're coming on a little strong. But I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt,
because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why don't we just start over, okay? And
you can just tell me about yourself.
coming on a little strong (<比>805.Tim: I-I-I realize I came on a little strong, but it's only because I think you're
give you the benefit of the doubt (<同>807.Chandler: So, shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt before
we go…snooping around her crotch?)
Jim: All right.
Jim: I write erotic novels for children.
Jim: They're wildly unpopular.
Phoebe: Oh, my God!
Jim: Oh, also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Jim: Yep, [looks at his crotch] a Pretty Huge…
Phoebe: All right. [gets up and walks out]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica, Chandler, and now Rachel are organizing CDs.]
Chandler: [singing] The sun'll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow. [The girls start
laughing. in a deep voice] There'll be sun.
The sun'll come out tomorrow!: 《安妮》中最著名的一首歌《明天》(Tomorrow)
Joey: [entering] Hey!
Rachel: Hey! Oh, Joey, honey, listen, thank you for talking to me yesterday about that thing with my boss.
That really meant a lot.
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guy's not gonna be bothering you about that baby thing
Joey: Let's just say I took care of it.
Rachel: Whoa-whoa-whoa, let's say more!
Joey: Don't worry! Don't worry. I just told him very nicely, "You don't go buying people's babies, so back off!"
Chandler and Monica: What?
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no, Joey, he doesn't wanna buy my baby! I made that up!
Joey: What? Why?
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldn't be awkward!
Joey: And you couldn't think of anything else?
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?
Rachel: I can't believe you yelled at my boss! I'm-I'm gonna lose my job! What am I gonna do?
Chandler: You could always sell your baby.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I cannot believe you brought my boss into this! I'm gonna get fired!
Joey: You lied to me!
Rachel: Well, she told me to! [points to Monica]
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
[Scene: Mona's Apartment. She and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying
behind the couch. Mona's date takes off Ross's shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start
making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the
coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Mona: Oh, my God! Ross!
Mona: Ross, what are you doing?
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable. Okay, then, I'll call you. [He starts to
leave but comes back and takes the magazine he was reading with him.]
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's Office. Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Morning. You wanted to see me?
Mr. Zelner: Please, come in. Have a seat.
Rachel: Okay, look, Mr. Zelner…
Mr. Zelner: Oh, I think it's best that I speak first.
Mr. Zelner: I've asked Lee from Human Resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Rachel: Oh, God.
Mr. Zelner: If I, in any way, implied that I wanted to buy your baby, I am sorry, okay? Last week, when I
asked you when your due date was, uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. So,
yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that it's your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
due date: the date on which a woman is expected to give birth 预产期
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that.
[Scene: A Street. Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Oh, there it is.
Monica: That's not your regular dry cleaner's.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there, so I have to find a new one.
I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store…
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was gonna meet a nice guy and that's what they gave
me? [looks up] When I get up there, I'm gonna kick some ass.
Monica: Don't worry, Phoebe. You're gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
[They enter the dry cleaner's.]
Phoebe: Oh, you didn't have to come in with me.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains, okay? This is like Disneyland for me. I'm-I'm
gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts.
[A guy enters.]
Parker: Oh, excuse me! I think you, uh, dropped…[looks at Phoebe.] Wow!
Parker: I'm sorry, it's just that you're so incredibly beautiful.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, well, I'm sorry about that too, but what are you gonna do?
Parker: I hope you don't think I'm crazy, but I feel like I was meant to pick this up. Do you believe in that
kind of thing?
Phoebe: A little. [She turns around and looks up.] Now you're talking.
Parker: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: I-I-I'd love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Monica: [to the clerk] Oh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Phoebe: [looking around] She must've left.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Joey: So? What-what happened?
Rachel: It's all gonna be okay. They're just so happy that I'm not suing them that they gave me one extra
month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down
payment on this or any other child that I may bear.
so long as: only if 只要
construe something as something [kən'stru]: to understand the meaning of a word, a sentence, or an action in
a particular way 诠释
down payment: a sum of money that is given as the first part of a larger payment 首付款
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of their way to show they're not in the baby-buying
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, you're kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: I'll be in there. [goes into the bedroom]
Rachel: Joey, I'm really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things…
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean, you know, I don't know about you, but I haven't thought about our thing
since all this.
Joey: Hey, you're right. Yeah, it's kinda been like us again a little bit.
Rachel: Yeah, I know! I've missed that.
Joey: Me too. I mean, I haven't thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and
how you didn't feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Rachel: My gynecologist tried to kill me.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
Ross: [on the phone] Item J437-A, color: winterberry. [There's a knock on the door. He answers it to
Mona.] Hi, um, listen, come here, come...I'm so-so sorry about yesterday. But, you know, what did I
tell you about leaving your key outside the door like that? I mean, you're lucky it was me and not
someone else. I guess lucky is-is too strong a word. Anyway, Mona, I-I'm really, really sorry. It's just
that…[He picks up the pink shirt.]
Mona: Listen, Ross, you-you don't have to apologize. I-I understand why you were there.
Ross: You do?
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you too.
And I wish we could work it out, Ross, but we can't. It's too complicated with you and Rachel and the
baby, I-I just…It just wasn't meant to be.
Ross: Oh, God, you're right.
Mona: Ross, we, we have to be strong. Okay, I'm-I'm gonna go. [She picks up the shirt Ross has just
set down.] Can I? To remember you?
Ross: No. [takes the shirt back]