以中文为锄 以英文为铲

02月 16th, 2017

【原创】907.The One with Ross’s Inappropriate Song—Part1

老友记笔记, by 李志萍.


[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]

Ross: And that's why, no matter what Mommy says, we really were on a break. Yes, we were! Yes, we
Come here, gorgeous. Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a-a little
bitty baby, you know that? But you've got…You've got big, beautiful eyes. Yes, you do. And a, and
a big round belly. Big baby butt! I like big butts.
[rapping] I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other
brothers can't deny
, when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist, and a round thing in your face, 
you get…
[Emma laughs.] Oh, my God, Emma, you're laughing! Oh, my God, you've never done that
before, have you? You
've never done that before. Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, Daddy and
Sir Mix-a-Lot. What? What? You-you wanna hear some more? Um…[rapping] My anaconda don't want
e, unless you've got buns, hun…[Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried.] I'm a terrible father!
bitty ['biti]: If you describe someone or something as a little bitty person or thing, you are emphasizing that they are
very small. (人)矮小的;(物)很小的(谐趣用语或儿语)
itty-bitty ['iti'biti]: very small; tiny 非常小的
Sir Mix-a-Lot: 参见508.文化详解3.
anaconda [,ænə'kɑndə] a large S. American snake of the boa family, that crushes other animals to death before
eating them 水蟒(产于南美洲,以缠绕紧缩躯体杀死猎物)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table as Chandler and Monica enter.]

Chandler: Hey!

Joey: Hey. Hey, listen, what do you guys know about investments?

Chandler: How come?

Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking I should probably do something
with it.

Monica: What do you do with your money now?

Joey: Well, it's taped to the back of my toilet tank. [realizes that anyone could have overheard that] I didn't
say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!

Chandler: Do you have any ideas?

Joey: Uh, yeah. This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool, huh?
Pitching in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus.
emu ['imju]: a large Australian bird that can run fast but cannot fly 鸸鹋(产于澳洲的一种体型大而不会飞的鸟)
pitch in: to join in and help with an activity, by doing some of the work or by giving money, advice, etc. 参与并帮助

Monica: Joe, emus are birds. You raise them for meat.

Joey: Yeah, right! People eat birds. Bird meat. Now, do they just fly into your mouth or you go to, you go to
a restaurant and you say
, "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird. " Or-or maybe just a wing or…

Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real
estate i
s your best investment. The Fed just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is
deductible. [looks at Chandler] That's right. I know some stuff!
the Fed: (美国)联邦储备委员会(the Federal Reserve Board)
mortgage ['mɔrɡɪdʒ]: a loan of money which you get from a bank or savings and loan association in order to buy a
house 房屋抵押贷款
deductible [di'dʌktəbl]: that can be taken away from an amount of money you earn, from tax, etc. 可扣除的

Joey: Real estate, huh? Hmm

Monica: Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!

Chandler: Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!

Monica: My Dad told me. They play golf together.

Chandler: Oh, well, maybe I'll join them sometime. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat
mustache off his face.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table.]

Rachel: And then the doctor said that Emma has doubled her birth weight. She is in the 90th percentile 
and she's gonna start eating solid foods
 really soon.
90th percentile: 百分之九十 (<例>percentile [pɚ'sɛntaɪl]: (technology) one of the 100 equal groups that a larger
group of people can be divided into, according to their place on a scale measuring a particular value (统计学)

Monica: Oh, that's great!

Rachel: I know! What did we use to talk about?

Monica: No idea.


[Phoebe enters.]

Phoebe: Hi!

Rachel and Monica: Hey!

Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight!

Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.

Phoebe: Really? That hadn't occurred to me.

Monica: Sweetie, they're gonna love you. Just be yourself.

Phoebe: They live on the Upper East Side on Park Avenue!
Upper East Side: 上东区
Park Avenue: a street in Manhattan, New York, known for its rich, fashionable homes 派克大街(美国纽约市街道,街

Rachel: Oh, yeah, she can't be herself.

Phoebe: Okay, so, all right, which dress? You can say "neither".

Rachel and Monica: Oh, God. Neither!

Phoebe: You can say it nicely.

Monica: I'm sorry, honey. We're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine.

Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father,
you know, you wa
nna flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like, "Oh, Mr. Pinzer, I can see where
Wallace gets his good looks."
in good hands (<同>503.Dr. Harad: I want you to know you're gonna be in good hands.)
Wallace ['wɔlis]: 华莱士(男子名)

Monica: You went out with Wallace Pinzer?

Rachel: Uh, he took the SATs for me.

Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!

Rachel: Yeah, well, duh! I mean…

Phoebe: So, now, what about with Mike's Mom?

Rachel: Oh, well, with the mother, just-just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me
Moms love me. Ross's Mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
take it from me: used to emphasize that what you are going to say is the truth 我敢保证;包你…;请你相信我的话吧
I'm like the daughter that she never had (<比>820.Monica: And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the
daughter she never had.

Monica: She said what?

Phoebe: That's she's like the daughter she never had. [Phoebe points at her ear.] Listen!

[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Rachel enters the apartment.]

Rachel: Hi.

Ross: Hi.

Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous. It's so sweet!

Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.

Rachel: You what? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
makeover: the process of improving the appearance of a person or a place, or of changing the impression that
something gives 打扮;装扮
hippie (<同>610.Chandler: Look, there's that old hippie I've always wanted.)

Ross: Yeah, and it was, uh, it was like a real little person laugh too. It was, it was like, uh…[Ross tries to
impersonate Emma's laugh.] Only, only not creepy.

Rachel: Yeah. Well, what did you do to make her laugh?

Ross: I, uh, well, I sang. Actually, I rapped, uh, "Baby Got Back".

Rachel: You what? You sang to our baby daughter a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women
with giant asses?

Ross: But, you know what? If you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy, uh, body image because 
even big butts or, uh, "juicy doubles" are...
body image: an individual's concept of his or her own body (心理学)身体意象 

Rachel: Oh.

Ross: Please don't take her away from me!

[Scene: Richard's Apartment. There's a knock on the door. The listing agent opens the door for Chandler
and Joey.
listing agent: 卖房经纪人

the Realtor: Oh, hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent.

Joey: Hi, I'm Joey. This is Chandler.

Chandler: So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked
on his own
go bankrupt: 破产
malpractice [,mæl'præktis]: careless, wrong, or illegal behavior while in a professional job (医生或律师等专业人员的)

the Realtor: Actually, he's buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Park.

Chandler: That's enough out of you!

Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?

the Realtor: All the appliances are included. There's a lot of light. A new kitchen. I think you guys would be
very happy here.
appliance (<同>618.Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom.)

Chandler: No, no, no, no. No! No, no, we're-we're not together. We're not a couple. We're definitely not a

the Realtor: Oh, okay, sorry!

Joey: Wow, you, uh, you seemed pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?

Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again. Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by
this guy?
Pretentious art. This huge, macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day
crying about losing Monica to a real man! You don't think he's here, do you?

macho (<同>614.Monica: You don't have to be so macho all the time.)

Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place, but I gotta say, I don't know if I see myself living here. Well, 
well, let me see. [Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants.] 
Yeah, I could see it.

Chandler: Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force. Dirty Harry. 
Cool Hand Luke
. Oh, my God!

Joey: What?

Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.

Joey: Oh! A tape with a girl's name on it. It's probably a sex tape. Wait a minute. This says Monica,
nd this is Richard's apartment.

Chandler: Get there faster!

[Scene: Mike's Parents' Building. Phoebe walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]

Mike: Wow! You look like my Mom.

Phoebe: I'm wearing pantyhose!

Mike: Great! Come on in! 

Phoebe: Hi.

Mike: Hi.

[A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.]

Phoebe: Oh, thank you! Oh, oh, my God, you're rich!

Mike: No, my parents are rich.

Phoebe: Well, so? They gotta die someday. [Mike's parents walk in.] Hello!

Mike: Mom, Dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents, Theodore and Bitsy.

Phoebe: [to talk posh] Theodore, Bitsy, what a delight!
to talk posh [pɑʃ]: 说话像上流社会人士

Mrs. Hannigan: It's so nice to finally meet you!

Phoebe: And you. Your home is lovely.

Mrs. Hannigan: Well, thank you. I'll give you a tour later. It's actually three floors.

Phoebe: Holy crap!
holy crap: 我的天啊,我勒个去

Mrs. Hannigan: Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends?

Phoebe: Oh, try and stop me!

Mike: Hey. Wh-what are you doing?

Phoebe: [no accent] I'm trying to get your parents to like me.

Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but, you know, you don't have to do this. I want them to get to know Phoebe,
not "Phoebe".

Phoebe: It is fun, though, isn't it? You've got it.

Mike: All right.

Phoebe: It-it's hard to stop.

Mike: Mm. Well, come on.

Mr. Hannigan: Phoebe, these are our friends, Tom and Sue Angle.

Phoebe: Hello.

Mrs. Hannigan: Phoebe, come sit.

Phoebe: Okay.

Mrs. Hannigan: Tell us a little bit about yourself.
So where are you from?

Phoebe: Um, okay, well, all right, uh, originally, I'm from upstate, but, uh, then my Mom killed herself and
my stepdad went to prison, so I just moved to the city where
, uh, I actually lived in a burned-out Buick
 for a while, which was okay. That was okay until, uh, I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp
spit in my mouth an
d, but I, I got over it. And, uh, anyway, now I'm, uh, a freelance massage therapist, uh, 
which, you know, isn't always steady money
, but at least I don't pay taxes, huh? [in the accent again] So, 
where does everyone
So where are you from?…originally (<比>114.Ross: So are you actually from New York? Kristen: No. Not originally.)
burned-out ['bə:nd'aut]: destroyed or badly damaged by fire 烧毁的
Buick LeSabre (<同>Ross: Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk?)
hepatitis [,hɛpə'taɪtɪs]: a serious disease which affects the liver 肝炎
summer: to spend the summer (at a place) (在某地)避暑


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