志萍的三分田

以中文为锄 以英文为铲

02月 24th, 2017

【原创】916.The One with the Boob Job—Part1

老友记笔记, by 李志萍.

   

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[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is shaving in the bathroom when Rachel burst in.]

Rachel: She's crawling! Emma's crawling!   

Joey: He's bleeding! Joey's bleeding!   

Rachel: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, honey. You've gotta come see this. I'm gonna go get Monica and Chandler.
Monica! Chandler! Monica! Chandler!
 Monica! Chandler! Come over! Come over! Hurry up! Hurry up!
Hurry up!    

Chandler: What? What?   

Joey: Hey, shaving?

Chandler: No, rabies.  
rabies (<同>220.Monica: What about the part where he has rabies?)

Monica: Hey, what's going on?

Rachel: It's Emma. She's crawling.    

Chandler: Wow, look at her go.   

Rachel: Well, give her a second. Jeez. Joey, Joey.

Joey: Oh, hey, sorry.   

Chandler: I can't believe how fast she's growing up. I mean, it seems like only yesterday she was farting
on my lap.  

Monica: Not so funny when someone does that to you, is it?  

Rachel: Emma, come on. Show everybody how you were crawling.   

All: Come on, Emma.     

Rachel: You know what? I think we're probably distracting her. Let everybody be still for just a minute. 

[Phoebe enters.]

Phoebe: Who's painting us?  

Opening Credits

[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]

Chandler: Have you seen our bank statement? Can this be right?
bank statement: 银行结单 (<>103.Phoebe: I'm going through my mail and I open up their monthly, you know,
statement.)

Monica: I know. God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up
with
Double Stuf Oreos. What happened to all of our money?
take a hit: to be damaged or badly affected by something 遭受打击;受到影响
Double Stuf Oreo: 奥利奥双层夹心饼干,1974年引入市场,参见202.文化详解7.

Chandler: Well, I'm not sure exactly what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
inclined [ɪnˈklaɪnd]: If you say that you are inclined to have a particular opinion, you mean that you hold this
opinion but you are not expressing it strongly. 倾向于…的;有…意向的 
Enron: 安然公司,曾是财富500强公司之一。2001年底突然宣布破产,之后爆出财务造假等丑闻。该案是美国
历史上企业第二大破产案。

Monica: Well, I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in.

Chandler: Yeah, maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.

Monica: Oh, but you're finally doing something that you love! I mean, I can't ask you to give that up.
Although it would be nice if the thing that you love was, you know, finding gold.

Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this, okay? So we
pay our bills a little late this month. And maybe next month we
cut back on a few things. And maybe we
start eating out of Joey's
refrigerator for a change. You're a chef. What can you make out of baking soda 
and beer?

cut back (on something): to reduce something 削减,缩减
baking soda: a chemical in the form of a white powder that dissolves and is used in baking to make cakes, etc. rise
and become light, and in making carbonated drinks and some medicines 小苏打;碳酸氢钠

Monica: Alright, worst-case scenario is we borrow some money from my parents. Or, you slipped on 
some
 ice at their house last month. Can we sue them?
worst-case scenario (<同>117.Chandler: Okay, worst-case scenario: Say you never feel like a father.)

Chandler: No! And we're not borrowing money.

Monica: Why not?

Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was, well, 
to always knock before going into the pool
 house, but the other thing was never borrow money.

Monica: Wow! I had no idea you had this much pride.

Chandler: That's right! I do! I'm your man. And I'm gonna get us through this situation even if it means you
working twice as hard.

[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment. Mike and Phoebe are watching television.]

Mike: You know, it's just really weird. You don't like eating animals, but you love watching them tear each
other apart.

Phoebe: No, I don't, I don't. No. Get him. Get him! Separate the sick one from the herd
herd (<同>103.Monica: I mean, they're like…coyotes picking off the weak members of the herd.)

Mike: I'm gonna go.

Phoebe: Why?

Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.

Phoebe: Oh, you don't have to go. I have something that'll fit you.

Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
tube top: a piece of women's clothing that is made of cloth that stretches and covers the chest 女式弹力抹胸

Phoebe: I want you to stay.

Mike: I want to stay too, but I've got about as much use out of these boxers as I can.

Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside-?

Mike: Done it. I'll be back in a couple of hours.

Phoebe: Alright. I'll miss you.

Mike: Me too.

Phoebe: Oh, fine. Yeah, you got away. Don't look so smug. You're gonna bleed to death.   
bleed to death: 流血过多致死

[Mike re-enters.] 

Mike: You know what? I just realized something. I don't wanna go home.

Phoebe: Great! Okay, I'll go get the tube top.

Mike: No, no! What I mean is I-I hate going back to my apartment now. And partly because I live above
a known
crack den, but, you know, mostly because when I'm there, I just I really miss you. So, do you
wan
na move in together?
crack (<同>605.Rachel: Uh, yes, heroin and crack.)
den: a place where people meet in secret, especially for some illegal or immoral activity (常指从事不法活动的)窝点

Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan, you sure know how to make a girl say "Hell, yeah!".

Mike: So we're doing it?

Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! Wow. We're really gonna move in together!

Mike: Yeah!

Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No, we're
not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey is watching TV.]

Joey: Shame on you, TV Guide. A man's ass is not nudity!

[Monica enters.]

Monica: Hey, Joey!

Joey: Hey!

Monica: Listen, I-I need to know that-that what I'm about to ask you will never get back to Chandler.

Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend. It would be wrong.
Good
, but wrong.

Monica: Okay, first of all, it would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. Okay, I need to
borrow some money.

Joey: Oh, I don't know, Monica. You know, um, lending friends money is always a mistake.

Monica: But Chandler lent you money!

Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.

Monica: Come on. I just need it for some rent and some other bills.

Joey: Oh, well, how much?

Monica: Two thousand dollars?

Joey: Two thousand dollars? What do you think I am, a soap opera star?

Monica: Yeah.

Joey: That's right, I am!

Monica: Okay, promise me you'll never tell Chandler. It'll really hurt his pride.

Joey: Chandler? Pride?

Monica: I know. He thinks he has it. It's really cute.

[Rachel enters.]

Rachel: Hi, you guys!

Joey and Monica: Hey!

Joey: Oh, what's in the bag?

Rachel: Oh, uh, well, you know how Emma started crawling? I realized that this place is very unsafe for
a baby. So I went to the store and
I got some stuff to babyproof the apartment.

Joey: Oh, God, babyproofing. Why is it such a big deal now? You know, when I was a kid, it was like,
"Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or, uh, "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
electrocute [iˈlɛktrəˌkjut]: to injure or kill someone by passing electricity through their body 使…触电(受伤或死亡)

Monica: Anyway, um, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
handyman [ˈhændiˌmæn]: a man who earns money by doing small jobs for people such as making and repairing
things in their houses 做零活的人;杂务工
install [ɪnˈstɔl]: to put equipment or furniture in position so that it can be used 安装;设置

Rachel: No. I was just gonna do it myself.

Joey: You're gonna do it?

Rachel: Yeah. Why? You don't think a woman can do this?

Joey: Oh, women can. You can't.

Rachel: Monica, would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?

Monica: You're a pig. And you can't do this.

Rachel: What? What? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
hardware store (<同>210.Fun Bobby: There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.)

Joey: The hardware store is right down the street.

Rachel: There is a hardware store right down the street?

[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]

Phoebe: Hey, you guys! Okay, we've got great news.

Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.

Monica: Congratulations! 

Chandler: That is great news.

Ross: Wow, that's great.

Phoebe: I know, it's so exciting! You know, I've never lived with a guy before, you know.

Monica: Well, it's just like living with a girl, only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "this is
what my sister would look like".

Chandler: Yeah, she's not so cute.

Mike: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Phoebe: Okay, well, you put down the toilet seat.

Mike: Yes, dear.

Monica: Is that a bit you guys do?

Phoebe: Uh-huh, we're playing you two.

Monica: We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that!

Chandler: Yes, dear.

Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's-that's great! I'm happy for you guys. I mean,
he's a great
catch. And those eyes. [Chandler and Monica looks at him.] I'm a scientist. I observe.
catch: a person that other people see as a good person to marry 值得追求的人(尤指夫或妻),宜于婚配的对象

Monica: Gosh, this is so exciting! You guys are really moving along. I mean, I think I hear wedding bells.
I think I hear wedding bells (<比>915.Phoebe: Oh, I hear divorce bells.)

Phoebe: Monica, slow down, okay? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know, I mean, I don't know.
Could I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. You know, I could picture myself walking down
the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way.
But do I want
that house in Connecticut
, you know, near the good schools where Mike and I could send little Sophie
and Mike J
r.? Oh, my God, I do.

Ross: Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional.

Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh, my God! Load up the Volvo, I wanna be a soccer mom!
load up: (向车辆或容器里)大量装入
Volvo (<同>721.Phoebe: And then maybe they're gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.)
soccer mom: a mother who spends a lot of time taking her children to activities such as sports and music lessons,
used as a way of referring to a typical mother from the middle classes 亲自开车接送小孩参加运动或活动的母亲;
(重视小孩休闲活动的)足球妈咪

Mike: You ready to go?

Phoebe: Yeah! You bet, roomy!

Monica: Don't you mean "groomy"?

Chandler: Honey, leave the terrible jokes to me.

Mike: What are you talking about?

Phoebe: Oh, please. These guys. We haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china
patterns.
[They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back.] China patterns!

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Rachel is fiddling with the drawer.]

Rachel: This is easy. "Can't do this!" [her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer] Oh! Wow! Seriously, can't
do this.  

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is there as Chandler enters. Joey has plenty of food in front of him.]

Chandler: Hey, Joe!

Joey: Hey! 

Chandler: You here with somebody?

Joey: No.

Chandler: Look, I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.

Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.

Chandler: And that will remain the official party line. Look, Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
official party line: 政党的官方路线

Joey: Yeah, I know.

Chandler: What? How do you know?

Joey: Uh, I just figured it out, you know. I mean, you're not working and the economy is bad.
economy [ɪˈkɑnəmi]: A country's economy is the wealth that it gets from business and industry. 经济状况

Chandler: Oh, right.

Joey: [to himself] That's the fastest I have ever thought!

Chandler: Anyway, uh, I need to borrow some money.

Joey: Oh, sure! Yeah, how much? Two thousand dollars?

Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How did you know that? 

Joey: Uh, well, I, uh, I know how much you used to make, and I know how much your rent is.

Chandler: Oh, okay.

Joey: [to himself] I am on fire!

Chandler: Listen, this is really nice. Do you…? [sees his checkbook] Did you write a check to Monica
for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?

Joey: Uh, kind of.

Chandler: I can't believe her! Did she tell you we were having money problems?

Joey: Oh, no-no-no-no-no. It wasn't-it wasn't because of your money problems. It was for something for her. 

Chandler: What?

Joey: Some personal. Yeah.

Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?

[A woman with huge breasts cuts across them.] 

Woman: Excuse me.

Joey: Boob job.
boob job: a surgical remodeling of the breasts for cosmetic reasons 隆胸手术

Chandler: What? That's ridiculous. She doesn't need a boob job. Why wouldn't she tell me about it?

Joey: Uh, she was afraid that you wouldn't be supportive.

Chandler: I'm not.

Joey: Yeah, well, she knows you well. Yeah, now, look, you can't tell her that you know. I swore I wouldn't tell 
you
.

Chandler: A boob job? She doesn't need that. This is crazy!

Joey: Well, it's-it's not that crazy, okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy.

 

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