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[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment. Monica enters.]
Monica: A-ha!
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
buzz (<同>101.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in.)
Monica: So, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door?
Phoebe: Those are my shoes.
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better.
Monica: You are?
Phoebe: Yeah. I just kinda wanna be alone right now.
[Someone knocks on the door.]
Monica: Who's that?
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food. [Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway.] What are
the chances? One billion Chinese people and they send Mike?
one billion: 10亿
Monica: What are you doing here?
Mike: Phoebe called me.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down. I wanted to see him.
Monica: Well, not on my watch. Damnit, Phoebe! How-how did you even call him?
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit.
base unit: 母机，主机
Monica: Base unit! Think, Monica! Think!
Mike: Can I come in?
Monica: No! No. Phoebe, isn't seeing Mike exactly what you wanted me to stop you from doing?
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to see me and I wanna see her…
Monica: This doesn't concern you!
concern (<同>610.Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler, why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.)
Mike: Oh, sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
throw somebody off (<同>501.Phoebe: Oh, this pregnancy is throwing me all off and making me fat.)
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this. It's just gonna make getting over each other that much harder.
Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't, why can't we just hang out as friends?
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then-then maybe I'll join you. You know, I'm your
friend and Mike's friend.
Mike: Yeah.
Phoebe: Sit down.
[Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other.]
Monica: Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Make room for your friend! [sits herself down between them]
Mike: [to Phoebe] So how have you been?
Monica: I've been pretty good!
Mike: [to Phoebe] You look really beautiful.
Phoebe: Thanks. You look good too.
Monica: Oh, no-no-no-no-no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
keep it clean: 使不失体统，使不粗野，使不下流
Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?
Mike: Actually, I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you.
love song: 情歌，恋歌
Phoebe: I've missed you too.
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in.]
Chandler: Hey, Ross. Look, I just wanted to apologize…[ looks at the screen] Don't tell me you actually
made those gay pictures of me?
Ross: Uh-huh, uh-huh, check this out.
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I'd look like if I worked out and was being serviced by a policeman. You're
not gonna actually send these out, are you?
service something/somebody: to provide people with something they need, such as stores, or a transport system
为…提供帮助；为…效力
Ross: Uh, actually, no. I don't need to, because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, okay? There
were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website. Nobody called my parents. So the joke,
my friend, is on you. Nobody called. Nobody wrote anything. Nobody cares that I'm dead. Oh, my
God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!
So the joke, my friend, is on you. (<比>914.Rachel: Well, I guess, then the joke's on him.)
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one
response! And I'm dead!
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
vocal [ˈvoʊkəl]: telling people your opinions or protesting about something loudly and with confidence 直言不讳的；
畅所欲言的
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy!
Chandler: Alright, look, let's think about this, okay? Do you really think that people are gonna disturb your
family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This isn't about people
not caring that you're dead. This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
condolence [kənˈdoʊləns]：sympathy that you feel for someone when a person in their family or that they know well
has died; an expression of this sympathy 吊唁；哀悼；慰问
outlet (for something): a way of expressing or making good use of strong feelings, ideas or energy (感情的)发泄途
径；(思想的)表达途径
Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.
Chandler: Right. I mean, come on, I'm sure if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would
come.
Ross: Exactly! [sits back down at his laptop and starts typing]
Chandler: Ross, what're you, what're you, what are you doing? You're having a memorial service for
yourself?
memorial service (<同>513.Phoebe: No, she just died today! Um, okay, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.)
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Chandler: Ross, don't press send. Don't press send!
Ross: No, too late, too late! It's sent. Op, sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman.
Chandler: That's all right. I'm tan, limber. And it looks like I talked my way out of that ticket.
limber [ˈlɪmbər]: (of a person or their body) able to move and bend easily 灵活柔软的
[Scene: Joey's Room. Joey is sitting on his bed reading a script.]
Joey: The surgery was not a success. And then you say: "What are we gonna do, Drake?" [Rachel knocks
on his door.] Uh, come in.
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Hugsy?
Joey: Original or crappy?
crappy (<同>106.Joey: You know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years.)
Rachel: Original.
Joey: No, sorry, haven't seen him.
Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers?
Joey: It's Monica, okay?
Rachel: That is not Monica!
Joey: Alright! Fine! It's original Hugsy! You know, I know Emma wants him, but he's mine and I need him.
She's being unreasonable!
Rachel: Oh, God. Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much. Oh, don't cover
its ears! It's because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey!
Joey: It does?
Rachel: Yeah! And I think she really likes him because, you know, he smells like you. And she, she loves
that. Go figure. You know, and I think she's comforted by him because she loves her Uncle Joey so much.
go figure: 想想看吧
Joey: Really? She-she loves me?
Rachel: Oh, yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand.
I won't, but whatever.
Joey: Okay, wait-wait-wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. Rach, I mean, if, if, if Hugsy means that much to
Emma, then, well, she can have him.
Rachel: Oh, you're sweet. I knew Uncle Joey would step up. Look, Emma, look who's back!
step up (<比>901.Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.)
Joey: No, forget it, forget it. I can't do it.
Rachel: Are you…? You're gonna take Hugsy away from a little child?
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment. Phoebe, Monica and Mike are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: I mean, and then it just gobbled up that puke. I mean, that was one gross pigeon.
gobble up: to eat something very fast, in a way that people consider rude or greedy 狼吞虎咽地吃
puke: 呕吐物 (<异>502.Monica: Makes me wanna puke!)
Phoebe: Oh, man. Why didn't I ask Joey to keep us apart? You throw a meatball in the hallway, we'd be
doing it like rabbits right now.
Monica: Alright, you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone.
Alright, here's a few things you could discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
mucus [ˈmjukəs]: a thick liquid that is produced in parts of the body, such as the nose, by a mucous membrane (身体
分泌的)黏液
fungus ['fʌŋɡəs]: a plant that has no flowers, leaves, or green colouring, such as a mushroom or a toadstool.
Other types of fungus such as mould are extremely small and look like a fine powder. 真菌(包括霉菌、食用伞菌、
锈菌、酵母菌等)
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want
different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but is that gonna make it too hard?
Mike: It can't be any harder than this. I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time,
I-I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved, everything about you. If I had known the
last time I kissed you would be the last time, I never would have stopped.
Monica: Kiss him, you fool!
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him, then I will!
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much!
Manny: I knew you'd be here!
Mike: Oh, crap!
Phoebe: Who-who is this?
Mike: It's my friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Manny: Well, you are not doing a very good job!
Monica: Excuse me?
Manny: What's with the kissing?
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Manny: Oh, yeah, yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
oversee [ˌoʊvərˈsi]: to watch someone or something and make sure that a job or an activity is done correctly 监督
Monica: You didn't hear the speech!
Manny: I've heard the speech. If he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her…
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
heartless [ˈhɑrtlɪs]: feeling no sympathy for other people 无情的；冷酷的；铁石心肠的
Manny: You're weak!
Monica: You're weird!
Manny: Your pants are undone!
Monica: Oh! [zips it up]
Manny: Where'd they go?
Monica: Damn it!
Manny: Oh, we blew it. I blame myself.
Monica: And I blame you too.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Ross's memorial service is going on.]
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die, some
people are gonna get seriously haunted!
[There is a knock on the door.]
Chandler: There you go! Someone came!
Ross: Okay, okay! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting. My first mourner!
mourner ['mɔrnɚ]: a person who attends a funeral, especially a friend or a relative of the dead person 送葬者；哀
悼者
[Chandler and Monica go open the door.]
Monica: Hi, glad you could come.
Chandler: Please come in.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your class.
Chandler: Oh, yes, yes. Let me take your coat.
Tom: Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry about Ross. It's…
Chandler: At least he died of doing what he loved, watching blimps. [goes in the bedroom]
Ross: Who is he?
Chandler: You know some guy, Tom Gordon?
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. [They press their ears against the
door.]
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. You know if he's
seeing anyone?
Monica: Yes, he is. Me.
Tom: What? You, you mean…? Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? How-how do you shave your beard
so close?
Chandler: Okay, Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go. Bye-bye! [He shoves him out the
door.] Alright.
mourning [ˈmɔrnɪŋ]: sadness that you show and feel because someone has died 哀痛，哀悼
Tom: Hey, listen. Call me.
Chandler: Okay!
Ross: I'm dead and no one cares?
Monica: I look like a man?
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Ross: This isn't ridiculous. Look around! No one's here!
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice. Not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday. And
Monica, it's probably the way you stand!
Ross: I guess you're right. Still, somebody must have seen it. I mean, I went to that school for four years
and I didn't have an impact on anyone?
have an impact on: 对…有影响
Chandler: Well, that's not true. You had an impact on me. I mean, it's fifteen years later and we're still best
friends. Doesn't that count for something?
Ross: Yeah…[Someone knocks on the door.] Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now go hide.
[Chandlers opens the door. A beautiful woman stands at the doorway.]
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston?
Kori: Yeah
Chandler: You look amazing!
Kori: And you are…
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.
Monica: You are married though.
Chandler: Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood!
in a bad mood: 心情不好；处在不好的情绪中
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Kori: Oh, we weren't, but we had one class together. He was such a great guy. And he talked so
passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear
up against it and listening intently.
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Ross: No, you didn't! I'm still alive!!
Chandler: Who did we bury?
Ross: Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story, but the things you just said really made my day!
I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
make somebody's day: to make someone feel very happy on a particular day 使某人非常高兴；使某人的一天生色
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! [She leaves and slams the door
behind her.]
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!
Closing Credits
[Scene: Ross's Apartment. He is on the phone with his mother.]
Ross: [on the phone] No, Mom, I am not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. Anyway, it was just a
practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, okay? Actually, no, even if I had died, you would
not be left childless. Monica?
practicaljoke (<同>716.Ross: You know I hate practical jokes!)
End
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回复自“【原创】917.The One with the Memorial Service—Part2”