志萍的三分田

以中文为锄 以英文为铲

02月 25th, 2017

【原创】917.The One with the Memorial Service—Part2

老友记笔记, by 李志萍.

使用笔记前,请阅读《志萍版老友记英语笔记的使用说明

[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment. Monica enters.]

Monica: A-ha!

Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
buzz (<同>101.Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in.)

Monica: So, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door?

Phoebe: Those are my shoes.

Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.

Phoebe: Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better.

Monica: You are?

Phoebe: Yeah. I just kinda wanna be alone right now.

[Someone knocks on the door.]

Monica: Who's that?

Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food. [Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway.] What are 
the chances? One billion Chinese people and they send Mike?
one billion: 10亿

Monica: What are you doing here?

Mike: Phoebe called me.

Monica: Phoebe!

Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down. I wanted to see him.

Monica: Well, not on my watch. Damnit, Phoebe! How-how did you even call him?

Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit.
base unit: 母机,主机

Monica: Base unit! Think, Monica! Think!

Mike: Can I come in?

Monica: No! No. Phoebe, isn't seeing Mike exactly what you wanted me to stop you from doing?

Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to see me and I wanna see her

Monica: This doesn't concern you!
concern (<同>610.Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler, why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.)

Mike: Oh, sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
throw somebody off (<同>501.Phoebe: Oh, this pregnancy is throwing me all off and making me fat.)

Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this. It's just gonna make getting over each other that much harder.

Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't, why can't we just hang out as friends?

Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then-then maybe I'll join you. You know, I'm your
friend and Mike's friend.

Mike: Yeah.

Phoebe: Sit down.

[Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other.]

Monica: Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Make room for your friend! [sits herself down between them]

Mike: [to Phoebe] So how have you been?

Monica: I've been pretty good!

Mike: [to Phoebe] You look really beautiful.

Phoebe: Thanks. You look good too.

Monica: Oh, no-no-no-no-no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
keep it clean: 使不失体统,使不粗野,使不下流

Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?

Mike: Actually, I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you.
love song: 情歌,恋歌

Phoebe: I've missed you too.

Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!

[Scene: Ross's Apartment. Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in.]

Chandler: Hey, Ross. Look, I just wanted to apologize…[looks at the screen] Don't tell me you actually 
made those gay pictures of me?

Ross: Uh-huh, uh-huh, check this out.

Chandler: Huh! So that's what I'd look like if I worked out and was being serviced by a policeman. You're
not go
nna actually send these out, are you?
service something/somebody: to provide people with something they need, such as stores, or a transport system
为…提供帮助;为…效力

Ross: Uh, actually, no. I don't need to, because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, okay? There
were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website
. Nobody called my parents. So the joke, 
my friend
, is on you. Nobody called. Nobody wrote anything. Nobody cares that I'm dead. Oh, my
God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!
So the joke, my friend, is on you. (<比>914.Rachel: Well, I guess, then the joke's on him.)

Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.

Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one
response! And I'm dead!

Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
vocal [ˈvoʊkəl]: telling people your opinions or protesting about something loudly and with confidence 直言不讳的;
畅所欲言的

Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy!

Chandler: Alright, look, let's think about this, okay? Do you really think that people are gonna disturb your
family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post
condolences on a website? This isn't about people
not caring that you're dead.
 This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
condolence [kənˈdoʊləns]:sympathy that you feel for someone when a person in their family or that they know well
has died; an expression of this sympathy 吊唁;哀悼;慰问
outlet (for something): a way of expressing or making good use of strong feelings, ideas or energy  (感情的)发泄途
径;(思想的)表达途径

Ross: You're right. There isn't a decent outlet.

Chandler: Right. I mean, come on, I'm sure if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would
come.

Ross: Exactly! [sits back down at his laptop and starts typing]

Chandler: Ross, what're you, what're you, what are you doing? You're having a memorial service for
yourself?
memorial service (<同>513.Phoebe: No, she just died today! Um, okay, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.)

Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!

Chandler: Ross, don't press send. Don't press send!

Ross: No, too late, too late! It's sent. Op, sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman.

Chandler: That's all right. I'm tan, limber. And it looks like I talked my way out of that ticket.
limber [ˈlɪmbər]: (of a person or their body) able to move and bend easily 灵活柔软的

[Scene: Joey's Room. Joey is sitting on his bed reading a script.]

Joey: The surgery was not a success. And then you say: "What are we gonna do, Drake?" [Rachel knocks
on his door.] Uh, come in.

Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Hugsy?

Joey: Original or crappy?
crappy (<同>106.Joey: You know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years.)

Rachel: Original.

Joey: No, sorry, haven't seen him.

Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers?

Joey: It's Monica, okay?

Rachel: That is not Monica!

Joey: Alright! Fine! It's original Hugsy! You know, I know Emma wants him, but he's mine and I need him.
S
he's being unreasonable!

Rachel: Oh, God. Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much. Oh, don't cover
its ears! It's because it reminds her of her
Uncle Joey!

Joey: It does?

Rachel: Yeah! And I think she really likes him because, you know, he smells like you. And she, she loves
that.
Go figure. You know, and I think she's comforted by him because she loves her Uncle Joey so much.
go figure: 想想看吧

Joey: Really? She-she loves me?

Rachel: Oh, yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand.
I won't
, but whatever.

Joey: Okay, wait-wait-wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. Rach, I mean, if, if, if Hugsy means that much to
Emma
, then, well, she can have him.

Rachel: Oh, you're sweet. I knew Uncle Joey would step up. Look, Emma, look who's back!
step up (<比>901.Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.)

Joey: No, forget it, forget it. I can't do it.

Rachel: Are you…? You're gonna take Hugsy away from a little child?

Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?

[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment. Phoebe, Monica and Mike are sitting on the couch.]

Monica: I mean, and then it just gobbled up that puke. I mean, that was one gross pigeon.
gobble up: to eat something very fast, in a way that people consider rude or greedy 狼吞虎咽地吃
puke: 呕吐物 (<异>502.Monica: Makes me wanna puke!)

Phoebe: Oh, man. Why didn't I ask Joey to keep us apart?
You throw a meatball in the hallway, we'd be
doing it like rabbits right now.

Monica: Alright, you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone.
Alright, here's a few things you could discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
mucus [ˈmjukəs]: a thick liquid that is produced in parts of the body, such as the nose, by a mucous membrane (身体
分泌的)黏液
fungus ['fʌŋɡəs]: a plant that has no flowers, leaves, or green colouring, such as a mushroom or a toadstool.
Other types of fungus such as mould are extremely small and look like a fine powder. 真菌(包括霉菌、食用伞菌、
锈菌、酵母菌等)

Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want
different things, but just to be with you one more night.

Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but is that gonna make it too hard?

Mike: It can't be any harder than this. I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time,
I-I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved, everything about you. If I had known the
last time I kissed you would
be the last time, I never would have stopped.

Monica: Kiss him, you fool!

Phoebe: What?

Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him, then I will!

Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much!

Manny: I knew you'd be here!

Mike: Oh, crap!

Phoebe: Who-who is this?

Mike: It's my friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.

Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!

Manny: Well, you are not doing a very good job!

Monica: Excuse me?

Manny: What's with the kissing?

Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.

Manny: Oh, yeah, yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
oversee [ˌoʊvərˈsi]: to watch someone or something and make sure that a job or an activity is done correctly 监督

Monica: You didn't hear the speech!

Manny: I've heard the speech. If he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her

Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
heartless [ˈhɑrtlɪs]: feeling no sympathy for other people 无情的;冷酷的;铁石心肠的

Manny: You're weak!

Monica: You're weird!

Manny: Your pants are undone!

Monica: Oh! [zips it up]

Manny: Where'd they go?

Monica: Damn it!

Manny: Oh, we blew it. I blame myself.

Monica: And I blame you too.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Ross's memorial service is going on.]

Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die, some
people are gonna get seriously haunted!

[There is a knock on the door.]

Chandler: There you go! Someone came!

Ross: Okay, okay! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting. My first mourner!
mourner ['mɔrnɚ]: a person who attends a funeral, especially a friend or a relative of the dead person 送葬者;哀
悼者

[Chandler and Monica go open the door.]

Monica: Hi, glad you could come.

Chandler: Please come in.

Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your class.

Chandler: Oh, yes, yes. Let me take your coat.

Tom: Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry about Ross. It's…

Chandler: At least he died of doing what he loved, watching blimps. [goes in the bedroom]

Ross: Who is he?

Chandler: You know some guy, Tom Gordon?

Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. [They press their ears against the
door
.]

Monica: So, did you know Ross well?

Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. You know if he's
seeing anyone?

Monica: Yes, he is. Me.

Tom: What? You, you mean…? Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? How-how do you shave your beard
so close?

Chandler: Okay, Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go. Bye-bye! [He shoves him out the
door
.] Alright.
mourning [ˈmɔrnɪŋ]: sadness that you show and feel because someone has died 哀痛,哀悼

Tom: Hey, listen. Call me.

Chandler: Okay!

Ross: I'm dead and no one cares?

Monica: I look like a man?

Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!

Ross: This isn't ridiculous. Look around! No one's here!

Chandler: You gave them one day's notice. Not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday. And
Monica
, it's probably the way you stand!

Ross: I guess you're right. Still, somebody must have seen it. I mean, I went to that school for four years 
and
 I didn't have an impact on anyone?
have an impact on: 对…有影响

Chandler: Well, that's not true. You had an impact on me. I mean, it's fifteen years later and we're still best
friends.
Doesn't that count for something?

Ross: Yeah…[Someone knocks on the door.] Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!

Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now go hide.

[Chandlers opens the door. A beautiful woman stands at the doorway.]

Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.

Chandler: Kori? Kori Weston?

Kori: Yeah

Chandler: You look amazing!

Kori: And you are…

Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.

Monica: You are married though.

Chandler: Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood!
in a bad mood: 心情不好;处在不好的情绪中

Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.

Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.

Kori: Oh, we weren't, but we had one class together. He was such a great guy. And he talked so
passionately about science. I always remembered him.

Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear
up against it and listening intently.

Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.

Ross: No, you didn't! I'm still alive!!

Chandler: Who did we bury?

Ross: Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story, but the things you just said really made my day!
I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
make somebody's day: to make someone feel very happy on a particular day 使某人非常高兴;使某人的一天生色

Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! [She leaves and slams the door
behind her
.]

Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!

Closing Credits

[Scene: Ross's Apartment. He is on the phone with his mother.]

Ross: [on the phone] No, Mom, I am not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. Anyway, it was just a
practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, okay? Actually, no, even if I had died, you would
not be left childless. Monica?
practicaljoke (<同>716.Ross: You know I hate practical jokes!) 

End

 


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