Phil: All the women at work were too busy to use this certificate, so I called the spa and asked them to
extend the expiration date. But they said no. Really? Here's something they didn't count on. You mess
with Phil Dunphy, the claws come out.
Pedicurist: You have very nice hands. Soft like lady's.
Phil: Thank you, Kim. I appreciate that. My wife never seems to notice.
Jay: This is it! Ta-da!
Gloria: What is ta-da?
Jay: I'm just saying this is it. Ta-da.
Gloria: "Ta-da" is when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show
someone where you want to shove their dead body.
shove [ʃʌv]: to put something somewhere roughly or carelessly 乱塞；乱放
Jay: I'm not gonna argue the proper use of "ta-da." This is it.
Gloria: Seriously? In the file cabinet?
file cabinet: a piece of office furniture with deep drawers for storing files 文件柜；档案柜
Jay: It's called a crypt. And how are you not getting how great this is? We're four down from Bugsy Siegel.
crypt [krɪpt]: a room under the floor of a church, used especially in the past as a place for burying people 地穴，(尤
4. 巴格斯·西格尔(Bugsy Siegel，1906-1947)，是美国著名的黑帮头子。此人最为有名的是率先在拉斯维加斯建造了
Gloria: No. I'm not going into any wall. I'm going in the ground.
Jay: Sorry, not me. There's enough to not like about death without adding dirt and worms. The whole thing
gives me the willies.
give somebody the willies: 使某人紧张不安；使某人心神不宁
Gloria: You die, you go to the ground. Is natural. You go back to the earth. Here, you're just a mushy bag
of bones rotting away for all eternity! Sorry for your loss. Can we get the hell out of here?
mushy [ˈmʌʃi]: soft and thick, like mush 糊状的；玉米面粥状的
rot away: 逐渐腐烂；腐朽；烂掉
Jay: What am I supposed to tell the guy?
Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us!
Jay: These are not like our drawers at home. People can find things in these.
Noranne: I'm thinking of getting bangs.
bangs: (plural) the front part of somebody's hair that is cut so that it hangs over their forehead (复数)刘海
Phil: Ooh, you totally should. You would be so cute with bangs. You have the face for it. I don't. Oh, there's
my better half. Kim, would you mind? Thank you. Hey, honey. Where are you?
better half: (humorous) the person that you are married to, or your boyfriend or girlfriend 另一半；老婆大人；老公<幽默>
Claire: Oh, I'm on my way to Downey.
Phil: Oh, uh, did you know Karen and Richard Carpenter grew up in Downey?
5. 卡朋特的正式英文名称是"Carpenters"，但很多媒体和歌迷都误称为"The Carpenters"。卡朋特是由理查德·卡朋特
(Richard Carpenter)和卡伦·卡朋特(Karen Carpenter)兄妹二人组成的演唱组合，上世纪七十年代至八十年代初期
他们录制了众多广为人知的排行榜金曲：Close to You、Yesterday Once More、Rainy Days and Mondays、
Please Mr. Postman等。1983年，卡伦·卡朋特因长期的神经性厌食症突然去世，卡朋特乐队随之告终。
Claire: What random and not-helpful fact, Phil. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm having kind of a rough day.
Phil: Yeah, I'm kind of having a rough day myself.
Claire: Look, Phil, I need you to take care of dinner for me.
Phil: What's wrong?
Claire: Oh, Alex ripped Haley's favorite sweater, and now I'm driving around from store to store, trying to
find the exact same one before Haley finds out.
Phil: Don't do that. Just explain to her what happened.
Claire: Mnh-mnh. Haley's not gonna understand.
Phil: Sure she will.
Claire: No, Phil, you don't understand. I'm trying to avoid this turning into a whole big thing.
Phil: Then just get her something close. She'll never know the difference.
Claire: Phil, could you just take care of dinner, sweetie? That's all I'm asking. That's it.
Phil: I'm just saying, there's a simpler way to do this.
Claire: There is no simpler way. Just make dinner! Thank you.
Phil: Hello? What?
Ed: Mr. Pritchett… We're the Rutledges, the ones selling the spots.
Winnie: Hi. Hi. Oh, my gosh. Look, honey. I hadn't heard. Martin is in.
Ed: Well, look at that.
Jay: I'm sorry. Is that a friend of yours?
Ed: We've made a point to get to know everyone in the neighborhood.
make a point to do something: to do something in a very deliberate or obvious way 有意做某事；认为某事完全有必要
Winnie: We think it makes it less awkward, you know, later.
Jay: Oh, I'm sorry. This is my wife, Gloria.
Ed: I'm Ed, and this is my bunk. And this is my loving wife and devoted mother of three, Winnie. She'll be
bunk [bʌŋk]: a narrow bed that is fixed to a wall, especially on a ship or train (船、车等常有上下铺的)床铺，铺位
loving wife and devoted mother: 贤妻良母
Jay: I don't know what our lineup is yet. But at home, I sleep on the right side, so probably there.
lineup: the people who are going to take part in a particular event 人的列队，阵容
Winnie: We don't mean to be rude, but you seem to be much younger than your husband.
Gloria: You're not rude. I'm very much younger.
Jay: Is that a problem?
Ed: Well, it's just that there's a good chance, uh, you'll be moving in long before she would.
Winnie: Our concern is, your wife remarries, and she wants to be laid to rest with her new husband. So she
sells this spot to the highest bidder.
to be laid to rest: 入土为安；安息
highest bidder: 出价最高的投标人，最高价竞买人
Ed: And we're left lying next to a complete stranger, without even so much as a formal "How do you do?"
how do you do: a formal greeting said by people who are being introduced to each other or are meeting for the first
Jay: Gloria, tell them you're in.
Gloria: I don't know, Jay. I think they have a very good point. And they're not crazy at all.
Jay: What do you mean they have a good point?
Gloria: I don't think this is going to work. Good luck getting someone into your drawers.
Cameron: It occurs to me that I may have gotten a little too upset and jumped to some conclusions that
were perhaps not true. I realize now that you would never intentionally do something so unthinkable. So…
I just wanted to say I'm sorry for accusing you.
jump to conclusions: to make a decision about somebody/something too quickly, before you know or have thought
about all the facts 过早下结论；妄自断定
unthinkable [ʌnˈθɪŋkəbəl]: impossible to imagine or accept 难以想象的；难以置信的；无法接受的
Mitchell: I did it.
Cameron: I knew it! You two-faced–
two-faced [ˈtuˌfeɪst]: not sincere; not acting in a way that supports what you say that you believe; saying different
things to different people about a particular subject (人)两面派的；口是心非的；言行不一的
Mitchell: Let me explain.
Cameron: There is– there is no explanation. There is just no excuse. I just want to know why!
Mitchell: Okay, y-you know how, um, s-some women say that they-they forget how painful childbirth was?
Well, I-I-I think that you are forgetting how panicked you were before we got Lily. You were freaking out.
Cameron: I was not!
Mitchell: Okay, so it says that we can put the mattress at one of three different levels. Which one should we
Cameron: I don't know.
Mitchell: Well, just think about how far down she should be. How far–
Cameron: I don't know! I can't do this!
Mitchell: Okay. Oh, this latch system is great. What did people do before this?
latch [lætʃ]: a small metal bar that is used to fasten a door or a gate 碰锁；弹簧锁
Cameron: I don't know! Stop asking me questions!
Cameron: I can't do this! I can't!
Cameron: Okay, well, I… I don't see what that has to do with anything.
Mitchell: I-I was scared that-that it was just gonna all be too much for you and that you were gonna leave.
And then I would be the one taking care of a baby and half of her last name would belong to the guy who
left us. It was a mistake. I'm sorry. I-I wanted to have it changed, but I needed to get your signature, and I
was afraid that it would start a big fight and that you would hate me and…
Phil: Okay, I'm confused. You're saying that if she tells me she has a problem, I'm not supposed to help her?
Laurie: Not unless she asks for your help.
Phil: But if she lets me help her, I can make her problem go away.
Noranne: That is such a male thing to say.
Phil: Well, forgive me for being a man.
Pedicurist: Mango or kiwi?
Phil: Ooh, kiwi.
Noranne: When you say, you know, "Do this or do that," all she's hearing is, "I'm smarter than you."
Phil: Believe me, she doesn't think that.
Noranne: Mmm. She doesn't want you to solve her problems. She just wants you to give her support so that
she can solve her problems herself.
Laurie: Yes, and sometimes– sometimes she just wants a sympathetic ear.
sympathetic ear [ˌsɪmpəˈθɛtɪk]: 同情的耳朵(指耐心听别人的不幸遭遇)
Phil: Whoa. Whoa. Maybe it's all the creams, but that just made sense, girlfriends. So if Claire says, "I hate
getting stuck in traffic," I shouldn't say, "Maybe you should leave earlier"…
get stuck in traffic: 遭遇堵车
Phil: Or, "don't get on the freeway."
Phil: I should just say, "I know. It's so frustrating."
Noranne: Yes! That's it!
Women: Yes! Yes!
Phil: And-and if she says, uh, uh, "The waiter I had today was so rude," I shouldn't say, "Maybe you should
just order something on the menu for once."
Phil: I should just say, "What a jerk."
Women: Yes! Yes! Yeah!
Phil: And if she says, "Phil, the TV's driving me crazy," I should just say, "I know! There is not enough quality
programming for women."
quality [ˈkwɑləti]: used especially by people trying to sell goods or services to say that something is of a high quality
programming [ˈproʊˌgræmɪŋ]: the planning of which television or radio programmes to broadcast (电台、电视台的)节
Laurie: No! Turn off the damn TV.
Phil: Okay, now I'm confused again.