[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Phoebe is reciting a poem to Joey.]
Phoebe: He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle;
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
He sprang to his sleigh: 诗歌"A Visit From St. Nicholas"的最后一节，由诗人克来门特·摩尔(Clement Moore)于1823年
thistle ['θɪsl]: a wild plant which has leaves with sharp points and purple flowers 蓟
ere [ɛr]: (old use or literary) the same as "before" 同before (文学性，老式)
Joey: [impressed] Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?
Phoebe: [smiling] Uh-huh.
Chandler: [coming from the bedroom] Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa.
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Ross: You're really not coming back?
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year.
Monica: Why can't those dumb Tulsa people do the work?
Chandler: Because those dumb people got everything dumped on them by the arrogant jerks in the New
York office. I'm caught between two worlds. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
dump on: 把问题推到…身上
Monica: It's so unfair. You don't even like your job!
Chandler: So, who does?
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I love my job.
Rachel: I can't wait to go back to work.
Ross: I can't get enough dinosaurs!
Chandler: I'm sorry I won't be here.
Monica: It's just, it's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas… I mean, you know
what? If this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Thanks. [They kiss.] I'll see you New Year's Day.
Monica: [shocked] You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve?
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
Chandler: And to all a good night! [runs out of the apartment]
[Scene: Chandler's Office in Tulsa. Everyone is in the conference room.]
Chandler: All right, everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but
there's no call for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! By the way, you can all call me
[Wendy enters the conference room, carrying a cardboard box.]
Chandler: Hey. Where've you been?
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three. Oh, it was really
beautiful. They have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just thought, to hell with them, we
have to work. So I stole their ham. [She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference
table. A big piece of ham falls out.]
insurance company: 保险公司
Chandler: You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Claudia: My kid's in a play right now.
Chandler: You know what? I know what will cheer you guys up! [He starts spreading envelopes among
them.] I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told them about all the hard work you've been doing
and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
in order: if something is in order, it is a suitable thing to do or say on a particular occasion 适宜，适当；正确
Ken: [reading off his card] "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet".
ballet [bæˈleɪ]: a group of dancers who work and perform ballet together 芭蕾舞团
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! Alright, look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being
here sucks! This work sucks!
Wendy: Now it feels like Christmas.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go
back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow
morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, which, by the way, none of you have
invited me to.
questionable ['kwestʃənəbl]: that you have doubts about because you think it is not accurate or correct 可疑的；
bedspread ['bɛdsprɛd]: a decorative cover that is put over a bed, on top of the sheets and blankets 床罩
Ken: You can come to my house!
Chandler: Ha-ha, no thanks!
Wendy: That was a nice pep talk.
pep talk: a speech intended to encourage someone to make more effort or feel more confident 鼓舞士气的讲话
Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
motivational speaker: 励志演说家 (<例>motivational [məuti'veiʃənəl]: 鼓舞人心的)
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Chandler: Typical Christmassy stuff, you know. Our holidays are pretty traditional.
Christmassy ['krisməsi]: typical of or suitable for Christmas 有圣诞气氛的；适合圣诞节的
[Flashback to 410: The One with the Girl From Poughkeepsie]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Phoebe: So here's a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me.[singing]
'Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap.
Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap.
Said all you need is to write them a song.
Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along.
No, don't sing along.
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah.
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross.
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy.
And Rachel and Chandler, have er-um-glander!'
Happy holidays, everybody!
[Flashback back to 610: The One with the Routine]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen. I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler, why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Chandler: What? That's terrible!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Chandler: Oh, well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always bested us, that wily…minx.
Rachel: Yeah, don't worry. We're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to
Joey's and search, okay?
Chandler: No, not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Phoebe: No, we have to!
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't, because I-I live here too.
Phoebe: Well, then you should look with us.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? A great idea? Oh, yeah?
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean, what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents,
and a bunch of little presents, and you've just gotten her one great present? I mean, that's just gonna
make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her, Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find them faster!
Rachel: That's right!
[Phoebe looks under the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh, oh, we have a live one!
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
[Phoebe tips it upside down and a shoe falls out.]
Phoebe: Oh, who's it for?
Rachel: [reading] "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? PS Chandler, I knew
they'd break you."
[Flash back to 209: The One with Phoebe's Dad]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: No. But with this new-car smell, you'll think you do.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, your turn.
Phoebe: Ah, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Joey and Chandler: Uh-huh. Yeah.
Phoebe: You guys!
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: And a lemon lime!
Ross: Well, this, this is too much. I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Chandler: And last but not least.
[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]
Joey: They're ribbed for your pleasure.
[Flash back to 710: The One With The Holiday Armadillo]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's. Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.]
Ross: Oh, hey, Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Monica: Come on, Ben.
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
Ross: Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Chandler: [entering in a Santa costume] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.
Ben: Santa! [runs to Chandler and hugs him]
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, Weird Turtle Man?
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents.
Monica: Okay, Ben, why don't you come open some more presents? And Santa, the Armadillo and I will
have a little talk in the kitchen. There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
Ross: [to Chandler] What are you doing?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed
one from a guy at work!
Ross: Thank you, but, but you gotta leave.
Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly.
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Monica: [to Chandler] Hey, you think you can keep it another night?
Chandler: Santa? Really?
Monica: Yes, is that okay?
Chandler: Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?
Chandler: Then it's okay!
[Scene: Back in the conference room in Tulsa.]
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that
we're working New Year's Eve. [All others are looking up, surprised.] Did I not tell anyone about
New Year's Eve? Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
All: Merry Christmas. Peace on earth. Bye.
Chandler: Good. Godspeed, good people! [He starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy.]
You're not gonna go?
Godspeed (<同>615.Dr. Wesley: Goodbye and Godspeed, Hope Brady.)
Wendy: Nah, I couldn't leave you alone.
Chandler: Well, thanks.
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until that Christmas party downstairs clears out. There are some pissed off
insurance people looking for that ham.
Chandler: Ah. [The phone rings. He answers it.] Chandler Bing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica is on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on,
so the rest of the gang can hear Chandler.]
Monica: [on the phone] Hi, honey! We're all here. We just wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.
All: [simultaneously] Merry Christmas!
Chandler: [on the phone] Oh, Merry Christmas. I miss you guys!
Monica: [on the phone] So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Chandler: [on the phone] Ah, well, no, it's just, uh, me and Wendy.
Monica: [on the phone] Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.
Chandler: [on the phone] It is. Did I not tell you about her?
Monica: [on the phone] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve.
Where's everybody else?
Chandler: [on the phone] I sent them home.
Monica: [on the phone] Oh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: [on the phone] Uh, uh…
Ross: [in a low voice] Answer faster, answer faster!
Chandler: [on the phone] I don't know!
Ross: [in the same low voice] Answer better, answer better!
Chandler: [on the phone] I don't think of her that way, you know. I mean, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: [on the phone] What does she do there?
Chandler: [on the phone] Oh, she's regional vice president. She's just below me.
Monica: [on the phone] She did what?
Chandler: [on the phone] Below me!
Joey: [on the phone] Oh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Monica: [on the phone] What?
Chandler: [on the phone] Well, she-she didn't win.
Monica: [on the phone] Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get
back to work.
Chandler: [on the phone] Well, second prettiest that year. I mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's
Rachel: [interrupting him] Oh, Chandler, stop talking!
Chandler: [on the phone] Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
Monica: [on the phone] Okay.
Chandler: [on the phone] I'm serious!
Monica: [on the phone] Okay!
Chandler: [on the phone] Merry Christmas.
Monica: [on the phone] Merry Christmas.
Chandler: [on the phone] Merry Christmas, you guys!
All: [simultaneously] Yeah, Merry Christmas.
Phoebe: Blah blargah, blar-blab.