[Scene: Another Restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve.]
Rachel: Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
Steve: I-I-I just have to say this. You're really beautiful.
Rachel: Oh, well, that's-that's very sweet. Thank you.
Steve: I'm kind of funny-looking.
funny-looking (<复合> -looking用以构成复合形容词，表示"有…外表的，模样…的")
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's
probably saying, "oh, why is she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
Rachel: Okay. Well, I guess, then the joke's on him. So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited
about that chicken.
Steve: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have
some laughs". That ain't gonna happen.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve, let's not rule out nervous laughter. So, now, I-I think that we should order and
then eat, and then leave.
rule out (<同>903.Phoebe: Yeah, all right, well, that rules out Lana Titwyler.)
Steve: I have a lot of medical problems.
Rachel: Hey, now, wait a minute. Phoebe told me that-that you owned your own restaurant. That's
Steve: I lost it to drugs.
[Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.]
Steve: I silk-screen T-shirts now.
Rachel: Really? What's that like?
Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money. I'm not
funny. I live in a studio apartment with two other guys. And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
fulfilling [fʊlˈfɪlɪŋ]: causing someone to feel satisfied and useful 使人满足的，能实现个人抱负的
studio apartment: a small apartment with one main room for living and sleeping in and usually a kitchen and
infertile [ɪnˈfɜrtəl: (of people, animals, and plants) not able to have babies or produce young (人)不能生育的；
Rachel: Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Steve: I do like my hair.
Rachel: Really? I mean, I...
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe: [on the phone] Hello?
[Rachel is still at the restaurant, but Steve is gone.]
Rachel: [on the phone] Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: [on the phone] Hey, Rach!
Rachel: [on the phone] This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Phoebe: [on the phone] You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Rachel: [on the phone] I don't-I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!
Phoebe: [on the phone] All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Rachel: [on the phone] He's not stoned.
Phoebe: [on the phone] Did he go out for a cigarette?
Rachel: [on the phone] Yeah, four times.
Phoebe: [on the phone] My dear, sweet Rach.
[Rachel hangs up in disgust.]
Phoebe: [to Joey] Well, our plan is working. Rachel's having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up
somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. Oh, wait, that's the
end of a different plan.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep
right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler? [Chandler wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he
has a pacifier in his mouth.] What are you doing?
Chandler: Emma was doing it!
Monica: She's asleep.
Chandler: Oh, she's asleep. That means we can…
Monica: Yes. But we have to be fast.
Chandler: [laughs] Oh, okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
Monica: [laughs] Okay, I'll try.
[They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hello? [Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.] Emma? Hey! Hi!
[He picks her up.] How are you? How are you? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why is the
bedroom door closed? You can't have S-E-X when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
[He walks out quickly with Emma in his arms.]
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to
the Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
the Waiter: Look, you got stood up. Who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Sit and relax.
In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
crab cake: 蟹肉饼，参见322.文化详解2.
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
the Waiter: Oh…
[Ross sees the waiter looking at him.]
Ross: Just the crab cakes.
[Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.]
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that
the Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Ross: I'm sorry. What's-what's going on?
the Waiter: Uh, okay, um, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before
you give up and go home.
Ross: What? You-you-you're making money off my misery?
the Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Ross: This is unbelievable. I-I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab
cakes, I'll be on my way.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is gone.]
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.
Chandler: I think we may have really done it this time.
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too. [They walk over to the playpen.] Where's Emma?
Monica: Oh, my God, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
Chandler: Don't ask me. I was in there canoodling you!
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the
hall, and I'll call her cell.
Chandler: Okay. [runs out]
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back
one way or another: 无论如何；以某种方法
[Scene: The Street in Front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date.]
Steve: [sobbing] I can't believe I'm crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic.
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
[He puts his hand on her shoulder.]
Rachel: Don't touch my coat! [Her cell phone rings.] Oh, sorry, that's my phone. [on the phone] Hello?
Monica: [on the phone] Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Rachel: [on the phone] Oh, my God, this is the worst date ever!
[Steve starts crying loudly.]
Rachel: [to Steve] Oh, come on. Look, you know what? I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was
going well? [to Monica.] What's up?
Monica: [on the phone] Hey, did you stop by here?
Rachel: [on the phone] No.
Monica: [on the phone] Oh, my God, then… [Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.] Oh, thank God!
Emma, there you are!
Rachel: [on the phone] What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?
Monica: [on the phone] Oh, we were playing peekaboo. She just, she loves it when I'm dramatic.
[hangs up. to Joey] Why the hell did you take her?
peekaboo [ˈpikəˌbu]: a simple game played to amuse young children, in which you keep hiding your face and
then showing it again, saying "Peekaboo!" 躲猫猫(一种把脸一隐一现地逗小孩的游戏)
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Monica: No, we weren't!
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. [to Chandler.] You are so lazy. Can't you get on
top for once?
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Joey: Which is more than I can say for myself as of 2:00 today.
Monica: Guys! Guys! Seriously, those sticks are expensive!
Joey: Well, it is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have
to tell Rachel about this.
[Joey starts to leave.]
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Joey: Hey, I gotta! Unless…
Monica: Unless what?
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
firstborn: 初生的，第一胎生的 (<异>713.Ross: I was their firstborn!)
Chandler: What? Why?
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids. And somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Chandler: Your family name is Tribbiani.
Joey: You almost had me.
[Scene: The Street in Front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.]
Rachel: Well, uh…
Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but, would you like to make love to me?
Rachel: Really, really not.
Steve: Eh, it's just as well. Doesn't work anyway.
just as well: 没关系，倒也无妨
Rachel: All right, well, that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
[She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She
takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.]
shudder [ˈʃʌdər]: to shake because you are cold or frightened, or because of a strong feeling (因害怕、恐惧、
Ross: Hey, what's wrong?
Rachel: I just had a rough night.
Ross: Oh. Crab cake?
Ross: Well, what happened?
Rachel: Oh, well, I…It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but…
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Ross: I did, too.
Ross: But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
Rachel: Oh, oh, no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.
Ross: That bad?
Rachel: Well, he makes T-shirts for a living. And he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.
[She holds up a black T-shirt with "FBI-Female Body Inspector" on the front.]
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: How-how do I get them to name the-the next one after me?
Joey: Oh, it's easy. You just-you just walk in on them having sex.
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me, like, three Phoebes.
[Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.]
Phoebe: Oh, my God! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
[Joey does the "plan laugh."]
Phoebe: Don't-don't do the plan laugh.
[Cut to inside Central Perk.]
Ross: The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same
night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Ross: Wait a minute. You-you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
intentional [ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl]: done deliberately 有意的；故意的；蓄意的
[Cut to outside Central Perk.]
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah? Look at them, look at them. They're really bonding.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again. [Rachel and Ross turn around.] Oh, they see us!
Oh, they-they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
[They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.]
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
Joey: I know. I'm so bummed. Could we have our free crab cakes now?
the Waiter: What?
Joey: We've been stood up. And we want our free crab cakes.
the Waiter: You were stood up here last night.
Ross: I know. It hurts. Being stood up two nights in a row has left a crab cake-sized hole in my heart.
crab cake-sized (<复合>-sized与名词构成形容词，表示"和…一样大小的，具…尺寸的")
the Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to
see how long it takes that guy to cry.
give it a rest (<同>820.Phoebe: Well, I don't, I don't have a mother, so often I forget that other people…
Monica: Oh, give it a rest!)
[He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.]
Steve: I have such fat hands! [He starts crying.] I hate my dick!
dick: a man's penis (俚语、禁忌语)阴茎